Worth and Purpose: You Deserve Someone Better?

“You deserve someone better”

I recently learned about a girl who ended a relationship with a boy because she felt she wasn’t worthy of his love, and feels that he deserves someone better. I don’t know the girl, her story, or any other real details, but my imagination, and the Spirit, filled the gaps, and I need to write this post for her and girls like her.



The trouble is: I know how this girl feels. I know deeply and intricately the feelings of inadequacy, of worthlessness, and of despair. My heart hurts for her and yearns to comfort her. It was one of the hardest fights I’ve ever had to face in this life because it is one I had to face alone – for awhile, and I don't want anyone to go through it alone.

See, you can’t just walk up to a girl and tell her “You’re beautiful, amazing, and have so much worth just by being you” and have her believe you. No matter your relationship with her, no matter how much she wants to believe you, if she feels like I felt, she won’t believe you. At least, not at first. In time, she’ll remember and your conversation with her will help in her journey. There are some battles, like this one, that we each must discover the way for ourselves.

I can’t explain this issue better or more fully than others before me, but I can share my experience, and the truths that I learned, and hopefully, you will learn more of Christ because of it.

Sometimes we are encompassed about so strongly, that the winds and waves are beating upon us, and we feel that hope is too far off. Somehow, no matter how hard we try, it’s just never going to be good enough. It doesn’t matter because there is always someone out there better for the person of our dreams. There is always someone faster, stronger, prettier, smarter, richer, better at writing, better at whatever, more service oriented, more like our Savior, more “worthy” of love and of notice, so why try? What can I contribute that someone else can’t?

Nothing.

And, it’s ok. You may be tempted to argue here, and yes, we all have a purpose in life, but I’ve found the world will keep spinning and things have a way of working out, without me. Does that stop me from doing my part? No.

I write these because they tactics the devil continues to use on me. I write this so that I can remember, but mostly I write this because these are the things of my soul that I need to share with the world, again and again.

There is hope for you. There is hope for me. The storm will cease and you will find peace again. I imagine if you are hurting that those words don’t fill you with the strength you need to keep fighting, but you must. There is hope and help ahead.

This pain is not going to go away. The devil is not going to suddenly "get bored" of tormenting you. Life is not suddenly going to get easy. And I’m so sorry, so very sorry, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. And, neither would you. Satan may not stop, but neither does Christ, and you’ll find yourself getting stronger despite the devil’s attacks.

I can’t change your heart over night. I can’t make you see your worth. But, you have it. You really do. And, honestly, you’re not going to see it while you sit there licking your wounds.

If I were with you, I would give you a big hug. Hugs always seem to make everything feel better. My dear friends, there is still hope for you. There is a spiritual big hug waiting for you any time you ask. One day, though you might not be the prettiest, the smartest, or, say the most insightful blogger out there, you will be you and you’ll find that that’s ok.

Your role may not change the world; you may not be regarded as a hero. Maybe your calling in life is to be a grocery bagger, and all you can do is put food into cheap plastic bags and make no noticeable contribution in the eyes of the world. Please don’t disregard what I say because it is cheesy. It’s true, most people won’t be eternally affected by how you organized the groceries, but your job will not eternally define you, nor will how much influence you had in the world. Decide that that is ok, and then resolve to do your best anyway.

Maybe you “know” that the person you love and want to be with deserves a better person. Don’t they deserve a person who loves them? Don’t they deserve to be with someone who they love and want to be with? Don’t they deserve someone who tries to be the best they can be, even if they mess up sometimes? They deserve your love. And what’s more: You deserve theirs.

My friend, I know you may not believe me yet. So, will you do something for me? Talk to someone who can help you heal. Turn to God in prayer, and you will find His peace, love, and the truth about who you are.

When I was at my lowest points in this section of my journey, and no words comforted me, all I could do was cry and cry, and cry some more in prayer, all the variations of “how” and “why” that you can imagine, till I let Him back into my heart.

Sadly, this was not a onetime thing for me. Oh, how I wish it was, I wish I was a faster learner sometimes, but that is a selfish wish. You may think I was writing about the need to remember for your benefit, but I was writing it for mine (you were included, of course). See, no matter how often the Lord calms my heart, I still struggle. I still forget. This leads me to hurt and wonder “Heavenly Father, are you really there, and do you hear and answer every child’s prayer?” I forget within minutes of comfort sometimes. But, when I ask, it can come immediately  back into my heart. And slowly, I’m learning and becoming a more faithful person.

Line upon line, we’ll get there together. The moral of this story is that though parts of this journey may leave you feeling very alone and like you can never do anything right. Please remember, there is one right thing you can always do. You can always pray. You can always turn to God and seek comfort, guidance, and truth from Him.

Extra Resources:
2 Nephi 4:15-35, I know in whom I have trusted
D&C 50:40-44 Fear not, we are His! You and me. We are with Christ.
D&C 9:6 Do not murmur, for it is wisdom in God…

I have lots and lots of scriptures…please comment if you want me to keep going but I have other resources I’d like to share

I feel my Savior’s Love: This song and me go way back. Sing the primary songs if you need simple, sweet truth.

You Matter to Him! Read the wonderful talk here

This is a fantastic Mormon Message that I watch quite often. Watch and listen for truth and hope.

Validated is a YouTube clip that is great. We can all do our part. Be like this guy and make a difference to someone else.

And None Were with Him - Such a great talk

Mormon Tabernacle Choir station – Ah, Pandora how I love thee. Find good music, it will lift your soul and help clean up the cobwebs in your heart.

I have shared this video before, but it is absolutely fantastic. I got to be there to hear the truth and love that these men shared with me. Please watch this video if you have the time. It has touched my heart and brought me closer to Christ.

Please share this post with your friends. Please give me the chance to share my story and hopefully help someone today.