Dear God, Sincerely Thy Daughter

Dear God,

I have been having a hard time lately, like a lot of Thy children. It seems that at one point or another, all of Thy children face extremely hard challenges. Life is confusing, understanding Thy promises and what "soon" means is confusing at times, and finding strength and letting it be ok to be confusing, hard, to let it hurt, to not know how to solve, or know that it is impossible for us, Thy children, to solve - at least on our own - is so hard.

I don't know how to let it go sometimes. I don't know how to believe that it will happen as Thou hast said it would, especially when all I feel that Thou has said is that it would happen. Somehow, I do believe it, even though I don't know how.

And that, is probably the hardest part.

If I didn't believe it was from Thee, then I could set about finding other answers. As it is, I am left with just the promise that it will happen. Somehow, my trial, my pain, my impossible struggle, will end. And, I know it is through the Atonement of Thy Only Begotten Son, even Jesus Christ, that it is possible.

Sometimes, I just hurt anyway. Sometimes, I just am anxious and can't remember how to let go. Some days are better than others, and I really am at peace. And then one little voice that I heed, one little doubt comes in, and it seems my faith falls away. Will Thou help me? It never seems to completely fall away, and I do always remember Thee in these moments, but sometimes it is just so hard.

As I write this, I actually am at peace. I am trying to write down what I remember feeling just a little while ago, because, I feel this way and feel that I am not alone in feeling this way. And, now I just ask that Thou help me to remember quickly, to trust in Thee more, to see Thy hand, and to enjoy the journey where I am at. I remember the last time I was down, and Thou promised to me so perfectly and so purely that my fears melted away and I felt Thy love.

Will Thou help me hold on to that feeling, and to remember it, to heed it when the winds swirl, and I am lost in the rhetoric of sin and fear?

I love Thee very much, and know that we are all trying so hard to improve, to become better, to be more like Thee, and this is my renewed prayer unto Thee.

Sincerely,
Thy Daughter


Some of my readers may wonder why I post this, or worry more about me than I intend based on the descriptions of pain. Pain is real, and I feel it at times, but this post is an attempt to show how I remember to trust my Father. Pain is real, but so is healing, and I have found it. It isn't a gloss over, it isn't a 'band-aid' it is real, and it is wonderful. It is easy to let that be distorted when pain is felt, and pain won't just go away because you tell it to. But, you can still let it go, you can still start to trust, and with time and faith, I know healing will come.