A Father's Blessing

The last two days, I have been very sick. It has been the most intense, or severe, sickness I have had in my memory (though that is not saying too much in comparison). I started feeling so awful I started praying that my dad would come closer to me so I could ask him to give me a blessing, since I couldn't go to him.

Then, the doubts and fears about the realities of what a priesthood blessing really is, starting infiltrating my over-analytical mind. I considered the placebo effect, because it really is an interesting and powerful phenomenon. I started to really question what I was asking my father to do, my worthiness, my level of faith, and of course, the reality of what power my father holds.

Before he could give me the blessing, my wonderful father took time to prepare himself - and I was able to take the time to prepare my own mind. I thought of Elder Holland's talk, about holding onto faith first - from Mark chapter 9. Right before my dad came in, I was able to make the decision to have faith in my father, in my Heavenly Father, and the healing power. I remembered that I had seen miracles in my life and that surely God could heal me, or at least bring me enough peace so I could get some sleep.

I often feel like "why should I be given help?" or "why should I get what I want?", just a I haven't done anything to 'deserve' it. Which, if you think about it, is true. However, what I felt in that moment was that even though I didn't deserve it, I knew God had helped me before and would help me if I asked in faith. So, before the blessing, and after remembering I could find help, I promised to have faith even if I did not feel any physical healing, if only I could feel some peace.

All I can really say is that immediately after the blessing, not only did I feel better in my mind, but I started feeling the sickness leave my body, too. I wanted to share this experience on my blog so that I would not forget this experience, that God answers prayers, and honors those who hold His priesthood and who ask in faith putting His will first.

I learned that though it is always God's will first - sometimes, our desires fit in, or at least aren't against His will, and sometimes we can have joy, we can get help, and we can be healed from our hurts, no matter how childlike or insignificant as we often feel.