Car Park Queries

And now, for a brief interruption in my 12-month testimony sharing goal. So, as I am living in London at the moment, the title of this post had to be the British version, though most of the story took place in an American parking lot - where I had lots of questions. Ok. Moving on to the story.


Once upon a time, I was not happy. It was a period where a lot of painful questions were confronting me. One day, as I was pulling into a "car park" to go to a "shop" haha... sorry. I shouldn't make so many jokes as this time was not a joke. Anyway, as I was pulling in I suddenly was cry-praying about how things hadn't worked out as I thought and how I wasn't sure what to believe any more. When suddenly, I was inspired to ask the question if I was willing to turn from what I did know because of what I didn't. Naturally at the time I didn't give credit where credit was due, but I was able to dry my tears, keep praying, and find peace - though the answers didn't come yet. To this day I remember the parking lot and the desperate hurt I felt, and then the peaceful remembrance of a few things I did believe. And I decided that no, I did not want to give that up just because I didn't have the answers to these tender questions.

Well, the reason I bring this up today is because we had a lesson in institute - and I always try to remember to write down what I've learned because this class is amazing and the Spirit always teaches me so many things... and I neglect to write them. But not today! Back to the lesson. It was based on Tad R. Callister's CES Devotional from 2014, the Blueprint of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Or something close to that title. As I was being taught, I was distinctly reminded about the above experience, and about the time I was told if I was not careful I would think myself out of a testimony. Since that time I have been reminded of both experiences, and today was a tender validation of my efforts. I still don't know - in fact, the questions that plagued me in that 'car park' still can bring me to tears. But, each time, I am quickly reminded of what I do know. And today I realised how far I've come. Naturally, I still have a very long way to go and still question things. Yet, I am learning to have faith first and I am making progress. And that is worth celebrating!