A Paraphrased Psalm

In my institute course today, I felt I should apply the words of the Psalm in 2 Nephi chapter 4. This is an effort to help me reconnect with my Savior and kind of see where I measure up in my beliefs. This task was a little daunting, and it is by no means an attempt to be scripture, but to help me pray and see my efforts and weaknesses with a little more clarity.

And upon these I write the things of my soul.

Notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaims: O wretched woman that I am! Yea, my heart sorrows because of my flesh; my soul grieves because of mine iniquities and anxiety.

I am encompassed about, because of the fears and temptations which do so easily beset me.

And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groans because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted and who has brought me peace.

My God has been my support; he has led me through mine afflictions as a teenager moving to Chicago, in going to BYU, in dealing with breakups, financial troubles, and strengthening me to find each next step

He has filled me with his love and helped me share it with others

Behold, he has heard my cry and he has given me knowledge, peace, and love of God and those around me.

And when I have waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; when I have sent my voice on high He has sent me the help and peace I needed.

O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men has visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine fears?

And why should I yield to doubt, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry?

Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.

Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.

Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation.

O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin? Wilt thou make a way for me to overcome my fears and doubts and choose faith in Christ instead? Wilt thou help me remember and turn to my Savior in each moment I am tempted to doubt?

May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may walk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!

O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way.

O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not trust in my own understanding or my own obedience or works but strive to trust in Christ.

Yea, I know that God will give liberally to them that ask. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen.