Roles

Where I work, we have a consultant come in once a week and basically train us to be better people, not just in work but in life. Each week, at the end of his lectures he has us choose an "action item" that we are supposed to act on during the week, and we report back on our progress at the next meeting. Now, this post is coming a little late, but it was inspired by his lesson two weeks ago, and what happened Monday at my bishop's house for FHE.

Our discussion was on roles, and he had a quote about the roles we choose to accept. True to form, I don't know the exact wording, and couldn't find it online, but it just talked about how we live our lives based on the roles we consciously or unconsciously choose to accept.

So, for my "action item," I chose to make a list of all the roles I am currently accepting, and a list of the roles I want to accept in my life. Now, when I finally got around to making this list on Monday, I wasn't having a good day. Well, good week actually. My friend and I have had a falling out, nothing major or dramatic, just a quiet parting of ways--though we still live in the same apartment, which makes it harder. Anyway, so when I wrote my list, it was rather negative, but if you continue reading, you'll see it worked out alright.

"Current" list:
"Cristina is boring, quiet, lonely, a 'selective' hard worker, daughter, sister, kind hearted, depressive, "exhausting to be around," not 'worth it to be around,' an executive assistant, poor, used-to-be-dancer, a person who lags behind, a person who doesn't have many friends, a complainer, weak.


Cristina wants to be friendly, strong, happy, hard working, a person with vision and purpose, wife, mother, friend of many, faithful, true, forgiving, patient, humble.


So - to get there - Go to ward activities, participate, talk to the quiet ones, smile, forgive quickly, be charitable and compassionate, pray always, have a plan, put one foot in front of the other. I am going to throw away the list of where I am now, and only keep the list of where I want to go, so I can focus on that instead.

Then, even after making this list, I almost didn't go to FHE, even after deciding I needed to focus on being friendly and active. Yet, I did. I made better friends, and I enjoyed myself even after an emotionally draining day. Then, my bishop gave a lesson, and we read many scriptures on faith, and miracles, and strength, and hope for the future. He said after interviewing many of us, talking with us, and seeing our struggles, that was what he wanted the ward to know, is to have faith, to be strong, to remember that God is a God of miracles, that we can succeed, and often, we have more faith than we realize.

This lesson really touched me, and the Spirit testified that I am a person of faith, and that I need not hold onto the things which make me sad. One of those is that I sometimes feel I am not as faithful as I need to be. Yet, I know that I am faithful, that is a role I am choosing to accept in my life. I am choosing to move forward, I am choosing to see the hand of the Lord in my life, for I know He is actively a part of it, and that I can be faithful and strong as I embark on yet another unknown path, I have people along the way who love me, who care, who have been where I am and are willing to help me, I did have to ask for it, I did have to have enough faith to move forward in whatever way I could.

I want you to remember to know that God is good. I want you to remember that you are a person of worth, even at your lowest times, that there is always hope, that you can always move forward, you can always have hope in your heart, and that is because of His Son, even Jesus Christ, who knows the way to true peace and strength, even joy for eternity, and we just have to keep going. Know where you are, but most importantly, have a vision for where you want to go.

Lately, I have really liked the words from a Primary song, "what does He ask? Have faith, have hope, live like His Son: help others on their way." This is my goal, this is the direction I want to go. I am accepting the role as a faithful follower of Christ, one who listens to Him, and finds the strength to help others in the way only I can.

Now, I just need to remember this faster. I know that as I remember this, I have joy, and I have strength to move forward. I am a person of faith, I am a person of hope, and I can live like His Son, even Jesus Christ, by looking beyond myself, and finding the compassion and understanding to help others along the way.