I can do it By MySELF.

I've noticed a couple things:

1. Blogger stats aren't as accurate as I hoped
2. People take what I write as cause for worry about my well-being
3. I love reading stories, not lectures, on blogs, so I feel caught up with how people are doing.

So. One, I'll be using Google Analytics instead (yes, I know you wanted to know...haha). Two: I will incorporate more of my context into my blog posts - I had left out what I felt wasn't necessary about my context so the message was more applicable to more people, but I will try to get around that. And three: my blog posts will hopefully transition from lectures/essays to stories and all that. We'll see.

Ok. A little background: I graduated from Brigham Young University a little over a year ago. I now work as an "Executive Assistant" for a small/medium company in Orem. I moved out of my private room in November and have ran into complications selling my contract but can't move back in. So, I am living at my parents trying to sort that all out. Just in case I decide to go to grad school, I do volunteer on a research team with a professor at BYU and have had success with that. Yet, my life doesn't fully fit the picture I had in my mind of where I wanted my life to be - so lately I've been doing a lot of soul-searching to figure out what I want to keep, stop, or change in my life.

I'm doing my friend's hair for her upcoming wedding {congrats R and B!} and bought a fancy brush to help get "the look" she/we wants. It's called a teasing brush. For those of you who don't know, it's to make the girl's hair... poof-ier...BIGGER. It does so by tangling it all up into a mess. Literally.

But as I was reading the little label thing, it said the bristles will help improve the hair, its shine, strength, etc. But not while actually teasing the hair - only when used in another way. It got me thinking about my life. Yes, a hair brush can be inspirational... ha. The same tool that creates a messy situation (intentionally) can also be the means to shinier, healthier hair when we change its use - or our perspective.

In my life, I try very hard to take care of myself. I have the 3-year-old {18 yr. olds tend to have it too} tendency to want to "do it by myself." This is a good quality. Like the hair brush, sometimes you want that extra volume. But that's not all there is.

I need this time in my life to teach me a little more humility, to accept help as well as to give it. I need to learn how to let others take care of me (meals, a job, a author credit on a paper) and balance that with helping them (doing my part to be aware of the situation and think of how to help - wash dishes, etc.). I need to learn that even people who I feel the need to help, can also help me. It's usually just little things, but pride or laziness can easily stand in the way - for me anyway {sometimes I come home from work and just don't want to do anything... to leave my family to do all the work. That's not ok. Neither is not allowing their assistance when I'm in a tough spot. So, I give myself parameters for my laziness - one TV show, stay after and help clean up dinner, etc.}

Life is such a balance. I'm learning as I go, and I hope that I can remember to balance  the brush of my life - the desire to take care of myself (not being a burden) with the idea that it is good, and necessary, to get help sometimes.

**Please Note: Sometimes I get emails/comments worrying about how I'm doing. I don't want you not to care about my well being, I just don't want to cause undo worry. I'll let you know when I want you to worry. Promise. :) On another note - is it distracting or helpful to give more emphasis to some words? (Bigger, italics, bold, etc.). Oh. And I'm sorry. I said I'd try to get away from lectures. One step at a time people. :)