August Testimony

So I've seemed to slack off when it comes to writing in any type of journal - and feel I ought to get a bit better. This past month I've not been up to much except trying to sort out my dissertation. I did have a few adventures of course, but mostly I've been typing away.


Today I gave a talk on family history and indexing, and it was one of the hardest talks I've ever had to prepare. I was so full of nerves before - which is unusual. Anyway, it went fine. But along with that, we had a lesson on fasting (in Institute for Isaiah 58) and so I've been thinking a lot this week.

First - on the relationship between Fasting and Testimony sharing - and then of course on family history and indexing; and then of course life in general - I'm finishing up my dissertation and trying to sort out my life, it's crazy and I don't know what to do!

Lately, I have been telling a lot of people that what they're working on is amazing, that their lives though crazy will sort out and make sense, that they can find happiness and direction - if they move forward in faith. And so now, I have the great task to learn to believe that these same things can apply to me - getting rid of fear and growing in faith, hope, and love. Additionally, I need find some way to eliminate the pride that is in my heart, replacing it with humility.


So it has been a little while since I wrote the above. My friends and I lately have talked a lot about facing fears and trying to move forward in faith, and that's the essence of my testimony this month. I don't currently have a "life plan" or even a plan for the next month - but I have learned/remembered so much about how God watches over me.

I recently re-read my first journal article on moving to London. I had just gotten off the plane and had been feeling terribly sick because of stress + lots of turbulence. I had gotten a bit lost and was physically exhausted after travelling all night. I wrote about that in my journal and the line "I kind of wish I had just stayed home today" - and with those words, the feeling of sadness and exhaustion comes right back to me. But then - my life since that day plays almost on "fast-forward" - I see moments of pain, but also of joy, of exploring, of growing, of fighting my way through all different kinds of challenges, of making friends, and learning how to open up and try, try again.

And my testimony is that because of Jesus Christ, I can keep trying. I can keep getting back up, learning how to create or adjust my plans when things fall apart. I can face my fears, one small, baby step at a time. And through it all, because of Him, I can keep moving forward.