Car Park Queries

And now, for a brief interruption in my 12-month testimony sharing goal. So, as I am living in London at the moment, the title of this post had to be the British version, though most of the story took place in an American parking lot - where I had lots of questions. Ok. Moving on to the story.

We did *March* forth

(The title comes from Alma 56:32)

This is the third "instalment" of my testimony goal for 2015, and I mean to "March" forth through the rest of the year, improving as I go. I still really struggle with saying it in a ward setting, so I am still glad to have this resource to share my testimony and thoughts.

February Testimony

My testimony this month really can be summed up that even in times when I don't feel I'm at my best,  a little closed off or whatever, that Christ is there for me - and I am coming to know Him better each day. And that's awesome! I can come back, feel of God's love, and be carried through my challenges.

2015 Testimony Goal

One of the things I struggle with the most is not wanting to bear my testimony in my church meeting. It's the meeting where members are invited to come and talk of Christ, their beliefs, and is generally fairly unstructured as far as who speaks and what they say. If given the choice between giving a talk and bearing my testimony in the testimony meeting, I would pick giving a talk every time. I just don't like having to think on my feet in front of everyone and be expected to say something coherent and meaningful. SO - one of my New Year's Resolutions this year is to write my testimony each month and publish it on my blog instead of giving it once a month in the testimony meeting. I firmly believe in sharing my beliefs and don't want to hide them but I need to find a better outlet for me to get it out there.

Gratitude

So, I have not been as faithful in updating my blog/journal...My friend and I have been having daily chats of a similar nature, so I have neglected this... but I have "remembered" today and have a little bit I can share.

In church, we discussed gratitude and happiness - in any circumstance. A girl mentioned how in her family, they discussed gratitude in prayers - and that when they say they are grateful for something, they add a "because..." - which helps us move beyond the rote and robotic prayers we can easily fall into. I am excited to use this in my prayers. As President Uchtdorf mentions, gratitude is a catalyst for all other virtues. I believe that by being truly grateful, I can find ways to move forward in faith.

We discussed that in any circumstance we can praise God - because of His eternal plan for us, His infinite love, the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and so many other things. We may struggle in our circumstances, and it can be hard to be grateful when we aren't "pleased" with how things are going - but eventually - we can have gratitude in the faith that one day we will be grateful for the circumstance, even if we don't want to live it again. We can be grateful in our attitude, and not just confined to a rote list of memorized items. Gratitude is an expression of faith, and will propel us forward as we strive to learn, improve, and become like God.


Here is a wonderful talk on gratitude by President Uchtorf of the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:
Grateful in Any Circumstances

Happyness :)

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. 

– Dalai Lama

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. 

– Mahatma Gandhi

Happiness doesn’t depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude. 

– Dale Carnegie

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

 - Andy Rooney

Happiness is itself a kind of gratitude. 

- Joseph Wood Krutch

Happiness comes only when we push our brains and hearts to the farthest reaches of which we are capable. 

- Leo Rosten

Happiness is not something you experience, it’s something you remember. 

- Oscar Levant

Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling. 

- Margaret Lee Runbeck

Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude. 

- Denis Waitley

Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence. 

- Aristotle

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open. 

– John Barrymore

Happiness is the interval between periods of unhappiness. 

- Don Marquis

Happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands, but let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is. 

- Maxim Gorky

Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product. 

– Eleanor Roosevelt

Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it. 

– Bernard Meltzer

Happiness is the only good. The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here. The way to be happy is to make others so. 

– Robert Green Ingresoll

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. 

- Jim Rohn

Happiness is different from pleasure. Happiness has something to do with struggling and enduring and accomplishing. 

- George Sheehan

Happiness does not come from doing easy work but from the afterglow of satisfaction that comes after the achievement of a difficult task that demanded our best. 

- Theodore Isaac Rubin

True happiness is…to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future. 

– Lucius Annaeus Seneca

(I may have found the quotes here and loved them so much I shared them on my blog as well)

It's About Love

We just had Stake Conference, and it was absolutely wonderful. I had so many thoughts – I’ve had to outline them like a proper essay…what an idea. :) Anyway – They can basically be split into 3 areas 1) Master the Tempest is Raging, 2) Love, that’s what it’s all about, 3) Deliberately trusting and having faith in God.

What are my priorities when I have questions? What matters most to me? I’m not sure, to be honest. Often I feel like I get distracted or lost in all the things around me. We sang the hymn, “Master, the Tempest is Raging”, which is a hymn I love. It describes my life and fears so well, and every time, Christ comes to my aid and answers my questions.

An issue that’s been on my mind as an observer comes around every five to six months, about the role of women. This is a subject I would love to talk more about, but feel that it is best if I just summarize. See, I don’t personally worry about it but it is one I wish I could explain well to others. As of yet, my words need more prayer and thought before I share more. Because of this conference, I am reminded that when I put first things first, everything else falls into place. We were beautifully taught about the creation and the ‘sacred silence of women.’

I came away thinking that when things come up that I don’t understand, or that I question, or that I am offended at, I can let things settle down and I can be at peace – when I put God first. See, I have this tendency of over-analysis. I’m sure that comes as a surprise to those who know me, but I often get lost in the thick of thin things, getting so fixated on one little thing, I forget to ‘zoom out’ and put things back into perspective. There is truth everywhere, and when I look to the source, I can find that peace and inner strength to move forward. It may sound so simplistic, and I know when I have trouble, that’s the last thing I want to hear, but that is the truth. When I can let my heart settle a bit, I do feel better. So – what matters most, to me, is what sticks around after I can settle my heart down. Naturally, there are times when that takes longer than others, but I’m getting better, I think.

Also, I had a cool experience – we discussed the temple a lot at this conference, and I felt impressed to help teach my little brother to learn about family history. He loves computers and I feel he could greatly help here. So, I have begun talking to him about it and hope he can continue. Another thought we discussed was that in temples, the gap between knowing and becoming (testimony and conversion), is lessened – we mold our souls and see a new view of ourselves in the temple, and that is just a beautiful truth.

Love – that’s what it’s all about. This is where I have the most thoughts… so I will try to sum up.

• Everything works to teach us to love God – every commandment, every lesson; it all is to teach us to love. Everything else ensues from that love, we see each other more perfectly, and can move forward – yet we often lose perspective and forget why we do anything, but if we remember to love, to see others as we really are, everything starts to make sense.
• Love naturally invites us to listen to each other’s perspective and unite together and move forward – which is beautiful. I love the idea that the world will be when we learn how to do that.
• President Nelson asked a wonderful question that we can think about as we live our lives: “Did I at least understand the first commandment to love God?” and I would add, “Can I understand that commandment without understanding the others?” To me, it is cyclical, but love definitely comes from God and is what makes everything work out.
• “Often we live side by side, and don’t see heart to heart” what a sad, but true thought. When we really see those around us, we find our place and know how to really help. So, I hope I can learn to pause and look at those around me. I never feel confident in my ability to help those around me, but I believe that though my efforts may be small, I can learn and improve.  
• “I want to be saved, if my friends will help me” We really need each other. I feel like we each hold pieces of the puzzle, and can’t succeed without each other. Teamwork is a beautiful and probably eternal principle. :)
• Elder Holland kept talking about “It’s about the people” – which I absolutely love. Apparently, his records are in the Midway 3^rd Ward, so he was at our Stake Conference as a member, not assigned to preside. So, I am so grateful he spoke to us. There is so much beauty and wonder in each child of God. And I am grateful that he (and the other speakers) were able to help me see that a little clearer. 
• As we simply go about, trying to bless another’s life, we develop the divine purpose and attribute of love. This will be a new goal of mine – to reshape my life so that I can go about doing good, too.
• We are what matters. The worth of souls is truly great, and I forget that too often. I hope to remember the divine worth and nobility of those around me.
• I have been asked to stand as a witness – in loyalty to truth, to my beliefs, to God, to others. There is a price to pay, to bring souls to Christ, the price is inviting others. And it scares me to open my mouth. Yet, sacrifice is needed. Just like obedience in some areas comes easy to me and hard to others, speaking up for my beliefs is hard for me as I tend to want to please people without considering what I am really doing. If I don’t allow others to listen to me, not just what they want to hear, they will never have the complete picture. And, neither will I. It all comes down to love. If I truly love them, I won’t just try to please them, but I will help them when I can see my place and I can share the truths that I have. “Mean mothers defend the standards of the ‘For Strength of Youth’” and I often neglect this truth out of fear of hurting another’s feelings, or making myself vulnerable. I am not good at explaining myself succinctly, and it frightens me that I would not be able to say truth, and be understood, that I avoid it; I agree and deflect the attention. I need to learn to lovingly say what is truth and be loyal to it, and to my God first.

My last section is on deliberate and determined service – living on purpose means we can and need to trust in the Lord. So, it begs the question, whose voice do I listen to? Who do I turn to for comfort, for direction? Obviously, all these thoughts flow together which, I truly love. What are my goals? And am I deliberately choosing to move toward them? I tend to go in the general direction, yet, I feel so inspired to be more deliberate.

Our goals give us direction and help unite and connect to those around us. If our goal is love, imagine what beautiful things await us. Unity – stand first with God. Then, as we love each other, we listen to all our different perspectives, and move forward in faith. Find your refuge in the gospel. Faith is a deliberate action to move forward in hope. Progression is a miracle, and each step forward is a gift. I have so many shortcomings, so much I don’t yet understand, yet – I have come a long way, and know that metaphorically, “once I was blind, but now I can see.”

One day at a time, I can love a little better. I can realign my priorities and trust in God. Then, I can confidently and deliberately move forward, and bring others with me, just as others bring me along. Life is a beautiful thing, and it is because we matter. We really are what matters.