Laid at Your Feet

So, lately, I have been confused at where my long term plan is leading. I just started a new job and the change has been a good one, but a change all the same.


I love and cherish the words of the LDS Hymn, Lead Thou, Me On. See, I was talking with two friends the other day about our lives, how so much of it is in the air for us, and feeling a general lack of light on our paths, but I realized something that night at a fireside. The path is already at my feet. I'm already on it. Yes, it may seem dark to me, but there is a path, and like the idea :Don't ask God to guide your footsteps if you are not willing to move your feet."


So, I wanted to write a little post encouraging you to remember to keep walking. 


A personal example if you will: 
My transition from being a student to where I am now, had a period where I felt I was on a very rickety rope bridge, right on the edge of falling into a never-ending pit... yes, I was in a melodramatic stage...sorry about that. Anyway, I think I have gotten over the first set of scary bridges and wanted to report a little on what I have learned.


I started a new job, and have actually really loved it. I fit here. The people are amazing, I get to learn and grow, emotionally, spiritually, and of course mentally, I truly make a difference at their company, and I get to laugh along the way. They even feed me about once a week, plus a chocolate drawer in the kitchen and I'm in charge of keeping the front desk treats stocked{and as an added bonus, today they took me to PF Changs, delicious!}Anyway, I am getting side tracked here. The second day I worked there, I came home to a beautiful sunset, I put my hair up in a pony tail a little higher than normal {reminiscent of first grade, a fun story for another time}, actually thought of something outgoing, fun, and clever to say to someone I didn't know, which made us both smile, and had a marvelous evening at institute. I truly was happy and at peace, and knew that where I am in life is wonderful and where I need to be. A refreshing change. I'd been comparing my mood to the weather, and I'd say the past month or two, I've been in a cloudy mood, not like 'my life is terrible' 'I hate life' etc., just cloudy and overcast. The sun has finally broken through, and though my long term future is still unknown, I am happy.

Past/comfort zone-> <- rest of life

scary bridge: transition

Imagine yourself in this picture, for my attempt at a meaningful metaphor. You are standing on the bridge. Maybe there is a lot of fog too. Behind you, the land and soon to be the bridge, is on fire. Naturally, the bridge's supports are falling apart. And a madman is chasing you. You have to keep walking. In fact. Run. Get outta there. 

All these things, the madman, the fire, the state of the bridge, is time. Time doesn't allow you to go back. Stop dwelling on it. It's not changing; you are.

Don't stress about the future. That part of time is the fog. You can't clearly see how everything is going to go. But, the path is there at your feet. It may not seem terribly promising at the moment, but it will get you where you need to go, if you will keep going. 

Life however, does not seem so compelling to keep moving forward. Basically, it is like you are on a treadmill, and life just keeps going whether you walk or not. Well, that's probably not the best metaphor either. Go outside, go for a walk, go forward in your life. Don't dwell too much on the past or the future that you cannot find joy in the journey. Confront each day with hope, have faith, be humble enough to recognize your mistakes, where you can do better, etc. Keep moving forward. It's been my theme lately, I like it, and so I write about it often. Here is the first post  in the theme if you've forgotten since then.

There is a quote from a blog called Single Dad Laughing, which entertains me sometimes, instructs me at others, and is generally a fun one to follow {I don't agree with all of his philosophies, but hey, you probably don't agree with all of mine...}, and it reads

"If you find yourself in hell right now, ask yourself honestly: "Are you walking to the end, or are you turning around always trying to find a safer, less damaging route? If you are one of the ones walking, keep going. If you are among the latter, do something truly terrifying for yourself. Choose one road, any road, and start running. Run full speed and do not stop. Do not look back. Do not worry that you have made a wrong choice. The future will seem uncertain. It will seem unsafe. But you have to keep running. You must run until turning back is impossible. Only then will you see the beauty that sits on the horizon."

The path is already at our feet. All we have to do is find a way, any way, and keep moving forward. Things will work out, they always have, and they always will. Remember, if God can take care of the small things in life, the daily joys, don't forget or be surprised when He takes care of the big things too.

Be a Friend

What is your biggest fear? If it really came down to it, I think a common one would be being alone forever. And, not just in a romantic way, but just alone, cut off from people.


This post is a longer one, but it is worth it. 


"Friends are like pillars on your porch, sometimes you lean on them, sometimes they lean on you, and sometimes, it is enough just to know they are standing by" -Elizabeth Foley 


I think one thing we treasure most is our relationships with others. To start, You should know, I lean more introverted than extroverted {a big shock to those who know me}, and much more so than I would like to believe. So, I would like to look to extroverts to see how they probably view this whole thing; but I cannot authentically do that, from my perspective though, I think they have this whole friendship thing figured out. See, they are comfortable enough to at least 'fake-it-till-they-make-it' and trust people enough to reach out and be a friend to others first. I would not say I am an introverted person, just quiet, and slower to make friends. This means, at least for me, that I am slower to be a friend too. {I would selfishly add here though that, though I have far fewer "close friends" they are truly treasures to me, and I wouldn't change quality for quantity, but I don't think extroverts do that either...anyway}


Just in case you haven't figured it out, this is a huge note-to-self, well, this whole blog is. I need to remember to be a better friend to others, as I do, I will come closer to becoming the person God knows I can be, and in so doing I can be more like Him. A huge reason I am writing this post so that I can remember what and how to be a true friend to others, and maybe it can help you too.


Lately, I have been far too self-absorbed to be a good friend, and I have kind of lost touch with what friendship even means.What do I want in a friend? What is a friend? 


I want someone who reaches out to me, one that I don't always have to feel like I am forcing the friendship, always doing the asking, always pushing myself into their lives, I feel like true friends should just sort of fit together. 


I want someone who knows me enough to leave me alone if I need it, but more often is someone who sees through that, and knows sometimes I just want them to remind me they care. I want someone who helps me find "what I want to do" because I often don't know it myself, and waste beautiful days because of it. I want a friend who truly listens to me and hears what I am truly saying.


I want a friend where our relationship doesn't feel like it is just a 'convenient friendship.' Do you know what I mean? I think so, but just to be clear, it's like the friends you have in classes or at work, who you are friends because you see each other often and you don't mind each other, but it never gets beyond a close association. 


I want our friendship to be more than just filling a slot until something better comes along. I want a friend who makes me laugh, and I said this just a little bit ago, but that we fit together. One who doesn't hide themselves from me, who trusts me enough to stand on my own, and to be there for them.


We are friends. I don't think the definition needs to go beyond that really. Ok. That's a lie. 

There are many aspects to being a friend, and since we know them all rather intuitively, but wanting to make sure I covered the main ones, I looked friendship up on Wikipedia and found a good summary. True to form I will add my own, sometimes long-winded, commentary in along the way.

Friendship is a form of interpersonal relationship generally considered to be closer than association. 

So, the word 'close' stuck out to me. We all know what it means, but I want you to remember what it means. It means you trust them and they trust you, that you are similar in thought, desire, hopes, dreams, fears, etc.

Some of the other aspects are:

• The tendency to desire what is best for the other,

C.S. Lewis talks about how people don't become door-mats in this kind of relationship, but that they just care about themselves a little bit less than their friend. This is definitely something I need to remember and integrate into my character. If you haven't noticed, I will point it out to you and it will bug you like it bugs me, though I leave it in to prove a point. In this post especially, and in life in general, I talk about myself a lot, I think about myself a lot, I care so very much about me. This is a problem. But, it can be improved with hard work and patient friends.

• Sympathy and empathy they are enough similar that they understand each other.

These are both vital traits, you are similar enough with your friends that you understand each other, and you care about the other person. 

• Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart, 

Friends can do this because of the mutual trust that exists, that the foundation of love and truth, where it seems superficial and unimportant, you have to have good friends for a lot of reasons, beneficial to health and emotional well-being. And, friends can be honest because they know how to do it best, without needing to be brutal in their complete honesty.

• Mutual understanding and compassion- 

ability to go to each other for emotional support, when times are good, but especially when people are stressed, worried, sad, mad, hurt, tired, annoyed, they don't give up on you. You know that they are not just going to decide one day to stop caring about you, they aren't going to just forget you, they understand, care, and want to be around you.

• Enjoyment of each other's company-

It obviously has to be enjoyable, and beneficial, that in your own way, you are happy being there. I left it in my post because I haven't been the most enjoyable lately. I am not always emotionally taxing but, in times of stress, I am. We all are, and that is fine. Good friends understand this and are patient and helpful as we figure it out, get over ourselves and move on. I need to remember this too, and not let this aspect out of my friendships.

• Trust in one another- 

Who do you trust? I think this is a key issue with being a friend. I know when I don't trust people to be there for be, I hide in my quietness, I retreat into the shelter of a good book or my own thoughts, whatever it is. I don't need to remind you how vital trust is, but I will anyway, because it is an interesting question. Who do you trust? Why? Have they let you down before? Does it matter? I could write a whole post on this, and probably have, or will soon. Trust is vital. Like friendship, it goes without saying, but do not forget its great meaning.

• Positive reciprocity — a relationship is based on equal give-and-take between the two parties.

This is where Wikipedia and I vary a little bit. I think this is important...to a degree. With true friends, you don't keep score, you don't make sure it is a perfect balance of give and take. You just are friends, you care about each other so much that you naturally reciprocate that, and so, yes, naturally it is a positive and reciprocal relationship, but like with other aspects of friendship, it cannot be artificial, it is either there even in small amounts, or it is not, and you are not going to be friends for long.

• The ability to be oneself, express one's feelings and make mistakes without fear of judgement. 

This is so, so very important to having true friends, you can be you, and I can be me. It's a beautiful thing. You know that your friend is one who does not hurt you, manipulate you, or is spiteful of things you hold dear. I heard that it is easier to admit to being mad than it is to being hurt. It's true, if you feel hurt to be around someone, you will find yourself withdrawing,. You know those people that you can relax and just be yourself? It is something that cannot be faked. You know that even if they disagree with you, that you still matter, you are not invisible or insignificant. You may be 'wrong' in that case but you are still valuable. This one goes with "trust" because you trust them to be your friend, to not suddenly change their minds and hate you.

One last thing, I think this is true of all real friendships, so before you disagree, just think about the important people in your life that you consider true friends, and share this with them. Also, did I forget any important aspects?

Remember, first "to have a friend, one must be a friend." 

Remember what your friends mean to you, and what you mean to your friends.

To Remember

How many of you have forgotten your New Year's Resolutions already? 


This year has brought me many different places than I could have imagined in the first few days of the New Year. My Valentine was a new friend in pre-school, I got love notes from 5th graders, and I even earned the respect of high schoolers. And it is only March. Tomorrow is an exciting day for me which could bring many different changes for my future, and I am happy and content.


The reason I bring this up is because I am so quick to forget. Quick to forget that my plans change, that there is still a beautiful plan, even if I don't have all the pieces yet. Take a little time each day to remember to remember life from the complete perspective. 


Each new day can be like the start of a new year, each new week a fresh start to try a little harder, to be a little better. (Gordon B. Hinckley)


Don't give up hope just yet. Start today, work a little harder, smile a little brighter. 



"Be believing, be happy, don't get discouraged. Things will work out." Gordon B. Hinckley


"The only way to get through life is.... to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache." Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Make a Miracle Happen

Nothing is as constant as change.

Has anyone ever told you to never change? People have told me that. I think that's a sad way to live life, not to mention impossible. I know that's not what they were intending, but think about it. Everyone is changing, growing, becoming better {hopefully}, and were we to never change, life would be lonely and sad. Even the weather changes- every season I hear people wish for a different one, and then when that one gets there they want the previous one. We all want and need change.

Think about something else though-

You can either choose to change deliberately or change by accident.

Make a miracle happen. Change deliberately. Work harder today, change on purpose. Make those miracles happen in your life that you have been waiting for. If you want something, change your attitude, get to work, and watch as miracles happen in your life. Embrace the changes in your life, your attitude, and press forward!

Go, Do Something Today

All around me I hear of problems; in education, in culture, in media, in politics, in the world. And let's face it, the world is a mess.

So, what do we do about it? I am not a "key player," and given my place in life, my sphere of influence is relatively small. With all these problems, how in the world can they be fixed? What can I do but sit back and watch the world fall to ruin? With the upcoming US Presidential Election, is there a chance that these moral and societal issues be lessened or eradicated with whoever is elected? Unfortunately, no matter how good the next/current president is, they alone cannot solve all the problems.

The other day, I read an email discussing one main problem but interconnected with all these other issues that reading it I began to feel so helpless and hopeless that anything could change and become better. I began to feel small, and then so did the people around me, all the leaders of the world, and the issues just kept growing in my mind such that there was no hope. 

"Oh, that I were an angel" is a phrase the great prophet Alma uses here, in a similar sense to what I am thinking about. He sees all the sins and wickedness in the world, and wants the power to change it all, crying repentance to all, and bringing the world up from sin. 

One thing that I love about prophets, is that they are inspired of God. :) He does not stop here, wallowing in his inability, but he remembers his God and the miracles that have come already. We have a Savior of the World and need not feel hopeless that we cannot fix it, because He can, and He is working through us now to help lift the world. It is wonderful to have the desire to be like Him, helping the world heal--just do not forget that there already is a Redeemer, we cannot do everything, yet we can do enough. We can work together and help ease the hurt of others.

I absolutely love the talk by President Uchtdorf, "Lift Where You Stand" please re-read it. I put the link there on purpose :)

Don't they look so happy? As prophets, seers, and revelators they have the weight of the world on their shoulders, yet they have great reason to rejoice. They know this fundamental principle of serving where they are. Their place is much more noticeable than mine, and yet the lesson is the same.

Lately I have heard stories of prodigies who, from a very young age, knew exactly what they wanted to be when they grew up, and were motivated and able, through natural talent and hard work, to get there. Am I a "prodigy"? With this knowledge, came all the doubt and insecurity about my ability. Can I do something miraculous and valuable? Where am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to be doing? 

I think, going back to my puzzles post, that we are already in place. This place can be metaphorical but it is also literal. We are the prodigies of our lives. When we are doing our part to follow the Lord's plan for us, that He is the guiding force in our decisions {we make them of course but we take counsel from Him}, that we will not fall. And we are definitely in the right place.

I know that I am not be called to save the entire world, but something I have or will do, written or will write, etc., will help anyway. We each have a different piece in the grand puzzle of life, and can each do something good for the world. 

For instance, as I write this, I am sitting in a fort my friends and I made in our living room. It is epic. 

Something I would like to remember is that "service" isn't routine, it isn't something to be checked off, and it isn't always planned {shocker...}. It is an expression of love, and I think we forget that sometimes and guilt ourselves for not being more others-focused. Lift where you stand. Do what you can each day to try a little harder. Some of you may not understand why I included the bit about the fort. The fort lifted my spirit that day and still does. My friends and I had something to look forward to, a way we could have a little more joy in life. Now I want to help bring that joy to others too. This is service. It is not detached from life, but it is bringing joy and hope to each other.

Do what you can each day to lift where you stand. Take a moment to do something for someone else, look around you. Maybe you can brighten someone's day by building a fort instead of just focusing on homework. Maybe you can take out the garbage if it isn't your turn, or smile and forgive instead of sending someone on another guilt trip. You get the idea. Just remember to act on it.

Alone, the world's issues are not going away. Together we can improve the world. Do not give up or give in to the temptation to wallow in what you do not have, or cannot do. Lift where you stand. Come together with the people around you and make a change for the better. Each piece, person, day, and moment is vital. Lifting requires effort. Do what you can to be such a person that can fill the gap where it is needed, you cannot do so if you are not prepared mentally, emotionally, physically, or spiritually. 

Don't rationalize yourself out of helping, we need you to go and do something today.

Compassion and Perspective

I honestly believe {though often forget} that people try to do their best with what they have been given. I think it would be foolish to assume people don't try to do their best. For example, I read this post on Facebook where a guy had emailed his professor to complain about something in the class. The professor replied he needed to be more humble, and then, when this professor came under a lot of heat, this person posted that the professor should have listened to him. It just felt mean. 

This may seem pointless and unimportant, but let's remember what these common words mean:

Compassion 

Mid-14^th Cent. From the Old French compassion, from the Latin compassionem (nom.compassio), “sympathy,” from compassus pp. of compati "to feel pity," from com- “together” + pati “to suffer.” Loan-translation of Greek sympatheia.

 Antonyms 
mercilessness, indifference.

{I love looking at antonyms, I feel it helps give a better perspective on what a word really means...}

Sympathy

Harmony of or agreement in feeling. As between persons or on the part of one person with respect to another. The fact or power of sharing the feelings of another, especially in sorrow or trouble; fellow feeling, compassion, or commiseration.

sympathies,

a. feelings or impulses of compassion.

b. feelings of favor, support, or loyalty

*dictionary.com, not the most prestigious but gives you a good idea

I believe that everyone could do with a little more humility. Even that professor, but especially the person posting. They could do with more compassion. Yes, the professor should not have done what he did, but who hasn't done something that later they realize was not right?

It is easy to stay in our own perspectives, to think we are always right {because, well, history has shown that I am always right...ha ha}. I know a few people in my life who, may not truly believe this, but they sure act like they are the only one with the right opinion. It would be incredibly easy for me {...has been incredibly easy} to assume they hate everything I find valuable, that they never look at another perspective, that they ignorantly don't care about what is important to me or others; if it doesn't agree with what they believe it is wrong.

So, I too, must take a step back. With the person who openly disagrees with everything, and seems like this person just hates the world, I need to remember that just because I don't know why they act like this, does not mean there isn't one.

Anyway, as I was thinking about this post, it became so important to me that we don't just look at our own perspective. With the professor I mentioned earlier, I have seen a lot of people mercilessly attack him. He may deserve it, I don't know. I just feel that maybe we need to take a step back and look at our anger's scapegoat and see if it is really deserved and if we are the ones to hand out justice and anger because of it. 

It just seems that anger and offense are running wild in our hearts, especially within politics and the media. People have opinions and that is great, it really truly is. People do foolish and/or awful things sometimes and justice is required. Just remember that mercy is as important as justice. No, we are not required to be best friends with everyone, but we are asked to forgive everyone and to love one another. 

Look past yourself when someone does something dumb. Look past your opinions when someone shares their opposing one, there has to be a reason they believe what they do. Maybe they are "wrong" and their reasons lack true support, but listen and allow them to think for themselves too.

If you remember from the beginning of this post, I made a comment about looking at antonyms. As I typed it, I did not really think too much about it, 'I love looking at antonyms' was pretty much as deep as I got. But, thinking about it, there is some depth to it that I did not initially intend. 

I used to be very set in my political views, I did not question the morality of the choices the group made and that was that. Then, a few years ago, I took a class where we were exposed to the opposite side and had to defend their position and actually think about their reasoning. Now, I have to admit my opinions did not really change; however, I learned something very valuable.

There is a reason there is another side in politics--and in life--there are good reasons and support that are easy to miss when you don't look. There is always another side, another perspective. And eventually, in order to move forward in life, we need to be able to look at those perspectives and put the pieces properly into place.

There is this tale about 6 Blind Men From India, which discusses the blind men's encounter with an elephant. They each felt a different part of the elephant, i.e., the ears, the trunk, the tail, and each came away with a completely different idea of what an elephant really is. 

I think we get like that sometimes, metaphorically blind to different ideas because we will not choose to see the whole "elephant." Remember that to others, your view is wrong. And. Maybe you are. Maybe your actions are dumb or if the media got a hold of what you say, a big controversy may arise. Probably not, but maybe. 

Just remember who people inherently are. We are children of God and we may do dumb things. No, this is not any new information, but put yourself in their place, and remember that you'd probably do or think the same thing. Don't take offense quite so easily next time you are tempted to. You don't try to offend people, to cause tension or hurt, you don't try to make the dumbest decision ever, you don't try to hold beliefs which are wrong or foolish. You try to be smart, to enjoy life, to have friends, and good opinions. Just, give that chance to someone else too.