Fear v. Trust

Why is it so easy to fear and so hard to trust?

I am finding that the root of all my troubles and worries is that I don't trust God. I find it so easy to remember to worry - that I don't have to consciously tell myself to worry. Ever.

Backpacking Through Life

This blog is going to be a little 'stream of consciousness' but I wanted to write it before I forgot :)

I just got back from an incredible hike to Dunanda Falls in Yellowstone National Park. It's amazing. However, during said adventure, I was close to miserable. I am not entirely sure why, but my knees decided that they no longer wanted to cooperate. So, I limped along - trying my hardest to be a good sport and not slow the group down too much.

I learned a lot on this trip. I want to now share what I 'remembered' on the way back.

We were in the middle of no-where. I was in incredible pain. The path was long and though not hard in terms of hiking per se, being hurt, made it hard.

In life, we cannot go back. We can't just stop either. We can take other paths and get lost, temporarily or permanently (this may have happened trying to get to the bridge shown below). We must keep moving forward.

In this mortal life, we are metaphorically in the middle of our backpacking trek. We have found the beautiful land and learned a lot along the way. Now, we must keep going now that we are here, to reach the Heaven, one step - one choice - at a time.

We need to let go of the things holding us back, and when our packs get to heavy for our knees we can turn them over to our Savior who can help us carry on and finish the course. We'll make it one step at a time. Keep the faith and keep moving forward.

Stories, Eclipse, Inside Jokes, Journals, Attention, Birthdays, AND MORE

Everyone has a story, that if told, could break your heart.

But, today: mine is not one of those.

Laid at Your Feet

So, lately, I have been confused at where my long term plan is leading. I just started a new job and the change has been a good one, but a change all the same.


I love and cherish the words of the LDS Hymn, Lead Thou, Me On. See, I was talking with two friends the other day about our lives, how so much of it is in the air for us, and feeling a general lack of light on our paths, but I realized something that night at a fireside. The path is already at my feet. I'm already on it. Yes, it may seem dark to me, but there is a path, and like the idea :Don't ask God to guide your footsteps if you are not willing to move your feet."


So, I wanted to write a little post encouraging you to remember to keep walking. 


A personal example if you will: 
My transition from being a student to where I am now, had a period where I felt I was on a very rickety rope bridge, right on the edge of falling into a never-ending pit... yes, I was in a melodramatic stage...sorry about that. Anyway, I think I have gotten over the first set of scary bridges and wanted to report a little on what I have learned.


I started a new job, and have actually really loved it. I fit here. The people are amazing, I get to learn and grow, emotionally, spiritually, and of course mentally, I truly make a difference at their company, and I get to laugh along the way. They even feed me about once a week, plus a chocolate drawer in the kitchen and I'm in charge of keeping the front desk treats stocked{and as an added bonus, today they took me to PF Changs, delicious!}Anyway, I am getting side tracked here. The second day I worked there, I came home to a beautiful sunset, I put my hair up in a pony tail a little higher than normal {reminiscent of first grade, a fun story for another time}, actually thought of something outgoing, fun, and clever to say to someone I didn't know, which made us both smile, and had a marvelous evening at institute. I truly was happy and at peace, and knew that where I am in life is wonderful and where I need to be. A refreshing change. I'd been comparing my mood to the weather, and I'd say the past month or two, I've been in a cloudy mood, not like 'my life is terrible' 'I hate life' etc., just cloudy and overcast. The sun has finally broken through, and though my long term future is still unknown, I am happy.

Past/comfort zone-> <- rest of life

scary bridge: transition

Imagine yourself in this picture, for my attempt at a meaningful metaphor. You are standing on the bridge. Maybe there is a lot of fog too. Behind you, the land and soon to be the bridge, is on fire. Naturally, the bridge's supports are falling apart. And a madman is chasing you. You have to keep walking. In fact. Run. Get outta there. 

All these things, the madman, the fire, the state of the bridge, is time. Time doesn't allow you to go back. Stop dwelling on it. It's not changing; you are.

Don't stress about the future. That part of time is the fog. You can't clearly see how everything is going to go. But, the path is there at your feet. It may not seem terribly promising at the moment, but it will get you where you need to go, if you will keep going. 

Life however, does not seem so compelling to keep moving forward. Basically, it is like you are on a treadmill, and life just keeps going whether you walk or not. Well, that's probably not the best metaphor either. Go outside, go for a walk, go forward in your life. Don't dwell too much on the past or the future that you cannot find joy in the journey. Confront each day with hope, have faith, be humble enough to recognize your mistakes, where you can do better, etc. Keep moving forward. It's been my theme lately, I like it, and so I write about it often. Here is the first post  in the theme if you've forgotten since then.

There is a quote from a blog called Single Dad Laughing, which entertains me sometimes, instructs me at others, and is generally a fun one to follow {I don't agree with all of his philosophies, but hey, you probably don't agree with all of mine...}, and it reads

"If you find yourself in hell right now, ask yourself honestly: "Are you walking to the end, or are you turning around always trying to find a safer, less damaging route? If you are one of the ones walking, keep going. If you are among the latter, do something truly terrifying for yourself. Choose one road, any road, and start running. Run full speed and do not stop. Do not look back. Do not worry that you have made a wrong choice. The future will seem uncertain. It will seem unsafe. But you have to keep running. You must run until turning back is impossible. Only then will you see the beauty that sits on the horizon."

The path is already at our feet. All we have to do is find a way, any way, and keep moving forward. Things will work out, they always have, and they always will. Remember, if God can take care of the small things in life, the daily joys, don't forget or be surprised when He takes care of the big things too.

Change

This chapter in my life has almost completely closed. The future is more intimidating than ever, and, sometimes it is almost too much to bear. Personally, I would like a little more control than I have, but I am still learning that it is wonderful as it is.

Among other things I have had to say goodbye to my car. Yes, I am a sentimental fool sometimes, but this car saved me on multiple occasions when I felt all was lost, from the miracle of his coming into my life, and through all the college adventures we had together as I worked my way through school. And Teddy, my car, left because he was old and beyond repair {he is parked in this picture, the tow truck was on its way}, reminding me of all the things that are changing in my life.

There is no truly "easy" path. Staples may have an "Easy Button" but unfortunately that doesn't seem to have much of an effect outside the commercials 

 I don't have any new wisdom to impart with you, in this or any post, but I would have you {and I} remember that change is a part of life, and not to give up or fear when it changes, even, like for me, in a way that you may have intellectually been expecting, but find that you are emotionally unprepared for. 

We have to remember who it is that has the plan for us. Thank goodness it is not me; my plans have a beautiful way of falling flat or self-destructing. 

We have a Heavenly Father who loves us, who not only is eternal and all powerful, but He is all knowing and all Loving. This creates a perfect balance for one who infinitely knows, has power, and motivation to care for each one of us.

My direction in life until this point has been to get my degree, which I now have. Before this, my plan for life after graduation has always been hazy, always changing, never sure where I was to go.

More things in life change, where you work, where you live, what your favorite foods are--i.e., my recent discovery that I like Asian food--and friends change. That is often the hardest for me, because sometimes I truly doubt why anyone would want to be my friend- no this does not last very long- so when friends change, go on to bigger and  better things it can be very hard for me. Yet, my friends change and it is ok.

Life happens.

I was at a job interview the other day, and was talking with the person I would be working close with if I got the job, and he asked me about how much I was expecting to make. This, though a typical question, puzzled me.  I didn't know the "right answer" he was looking for and I honestly didn't know what I wanted to make. I explained how I have lately been in a state where survival has been the main objective. There has just been so much change and uncertainty that I just didn't know anymore. I quickly thought about it, and so I told him a rough estimate. The interview kindly looked at me and explained that he would want me to do more than survive; and I am working on it and am getting there. 

Remember: Don't give up, just like Dory and Marlin, remember to "just keep swimming." Things have a funny way of working out. And don't forget,

Leviticus 26:12 “And I will walk among you, and I will be your God, and ye shall be my people.”

Change happens. Somehow through it all, we still can remember that He is our God, and that He loves us. He is there for us. Turn to Him. Come unto Christ. Remember that He is your foundation as you go throughout all the twists and turns, the storms, whirlwinds, confusion, darkness, boredom, loneliness, everything. He is there, He knows and loves you, and none shall fall who have Him as their foundation. We are all works in progress, and that means there are changes being made. 

"That which the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly." Keep going, keep changing, keep moving forward.

Keep Moving Forward

Keep Moving Forward!

Do you remember why that is important? Probably, but regardless. In our swirling, twirling, ever busy lives, it becomes easier and easier to get lost. There comes a time in life, that because of this or that struggle it feels too hard to keep going any further. Somehow, life keeps going, and so do we. Which reminds me of this song, song, reminding us to put one foot in front of the other, keep walking. Quitting is easy. But there are those who are patient with others’ imperfections and choose to resist the winds of temptation and keep moving forward to their goal. They know what temptation feels like to the fullest extent, and they stand firm. With a little practice, we can too. We can give up the vices and temptations, and stand a little higher. The winds will still blow but we can be strong.

I made it to the top of one mountain in my life. Yes, just one. Anyway. It was remarkable. The view was remarkable and as soon as I caught my breath, I forgot the pain. Well, no. I didn’t forget it. But it made it meaningful. Do you know what else? There were so many more mountains ready to be climbed. Temptations, trials, errors to be overcome. Life keeps going, and so do we.

Keep moving forward. The end is in sight. There is a way out of whatever mess you find yourself in. There is always hope. No, I don’t personally know the details, but we all know enough to move forward. We can trust in and find peace that only the Savior of the World truly brings.

Take a minute, one little minute each day, look how far you have come. Are you moving forward? Are you getting better? Or are you getting worse with age? In Isaiah 25:6 the righteous are compared to “wine on the lees.” This wine, depending on the quality of the grapes, will make the wine better or worse if it is left on the lees. Are you getting better as you grow older? If you are not, you are getting worse, more responsible for your actions but no improvement. Most likely, you are at least making little movements forward.

I grew up in a football home, and where I do not play {very well}, I think about it anyway. For instance: 1. If there were no opposition in a football game, no one would watch, and no one would play. Life’s a little like that.  2. The goal is to keep moving forward, through the defenses and struggles, and to keep moving forward. Luckily in life we have a little more control over receivers and the players on our team, but in the same aspect, if we are not careful, we will slip up, and we will be pushed back.

Start today, with the New Year, keep moving forward. Keep climbing, onward and upward. It is hard and sometimes scary. It requires leaps of faith in others and with yourself. I love the quote “try a little harder to be a little better” from President Gordon B. Hinckley, just try a little harder each day to improve in some way. Make it a little farther through the marathon of your life. Don’t go backwards. You have a crucial part to play. You are surrounded by those who love you, you have support in place. Now, keep moving forward, on to bigger and better mountains to climb, for adventure is waiting.

With this New Year, the Resolutions abound, and so does the expectation that they won’t last very long. Right? Well, then don’t label this a “New Year’s Resolution.” Just try a little harder to be a little better, and remember to Keep Moving Forward.