Influence

Choose your surroundings wisely, for they truly help develop your character.

Now, try to just think about what I am saying. I don’t want to offend you, I don’t want to tear down the things you hold dear, I just want to help you remember an important truth. Little things matter. And, just because we can’t see in black and white their influence, does not mean that they don’t affect us. Ok? Are we still on the same page?

I want to share an example of how people don’t seem to agree, and maybe you won’t either. Or, maybe you will agree that it affects others, but you won’t believe it changes you. The scientific and religious debate is united in this matter. Media influences who we are.  

For example, last fall, I started writing a paper on aggression and the media. Every time I mentioned to someone that I was writing a paper on violence and the media, they got extremely defensive. They assured me that it didn’t affect them because they “were not mass murderers” or that they were not violent people.

I have done a lot of research in this matter, reading tons of studies, working with professors who study this trend, and my own observations. There seem to be 5 main reasons that people don’t believe media affects them. They rationalize it away because of different reasons, mainly because they like it and don’t want to give it up; they are not bad people so it cannot be in anyway negative. Second, as already described, they agree that it affects others, but they don’t see it in themselves. Third, over time, the affects and meaning are lost on them because of desensitization. Another one is the media itself. The media is a great source for keeping people accountable for their actions by making them known to the general public. However, when the media might be the negative source, they are understandably defensive and do not publish the information truly objectively. Instead, they ignore the problem or repeat over and over that their message that the decades of research and documentation have no merit, and people don’t get to hear the other side. Finally, people misunderstand psychological processes; mainly that violent media does not change them in ways they expect. I am not in any way saying that by watching violent media, you will become a serial killer, or anything like that. I cannot adequately and yet briefly explain here how exposure to violent media affects the thoughts, feelings, biology, and regard of others.    This blog is not about that.

Instead, this blog is about helping us remember. I chose this example because I am personally acquainted with it. It has become apparent to me that we often don’t take time to listen and notice things about ourselves. We don’t see a before/after view of ourselves, and the little things just keep coming. They shape us for good and for ill. The idea I want to leave with you is to stop drifting along in the river of life. Actively choose where you want to go and how you will get there. Pay careful attention to things in your life, for they truly are influencing you, and shaping your character. Remember to notice. Remember that little things matter and affect you similarly to how they affect others.  

Little things matter. Little choices on a day-to-day basis shape who we are. Remember to make the little things count and help you stay on the path leading you where you want to go.