Asking for help is
probably the one of the hardest things in the world for most people. It
can be a pride thing.
In general, I have only
considered this angle of the post. I am sure it extends to other things, but I
think pride hinders asking significantly. One that isn't going to change by
merely writing about it on a blog post, or reading about it
either. I would love a discussion about anything else, but for a
minute, consider this:
"Pull over and just
ask for directions!"
It's not just guys that
can't ask for help. Maybe in asking for driving directions :) , but we all
have areas where we just want to figure it out on our own. And is that bad?
It's probably not the worst thing in the world, in all instances. Yet, it
definitely can be a huge problem.
Briefly, I want to share
three experiences where the prime lesson I've needed to learn is how to ask for help.
Arm and Foot, two
experiences, within 6 months, injuries. Ok. Because I am super verbose, I am
combining two injuries into one. Plus, they both happened while walking, so
obviously they fit together. About a year and a half-to-two years ago, I broke
by arm and had to have surgery on my foot from getting a toothpick stuck in
there (pride moment: I had a dance competition, still
went, and was a semi-finalist in Gold Latin....no I didn't know it was in there
at the time or I would have complained too much and sat out). Well, during this time, of almost 6 months of
a major limb not being functional, I had to swallow my pride and ask for help quite a lot.
And, like I've been
noticing lately, it isn't just hard for me. I had a friend who just stopped me,
as I was trying to carry 8 empty, odd shaped boxes to the dumpster, and said
very plainly that it is ok to ask for help, and that I truly needed it. There was
no shame in asking, it just is needed. You are not less awesome for having to ask for a little help.
Third story: Car.
Miracles. I don't own a car, from the end of January-March I was a substitute
teacher teaching all over Utah and Wasatch counties. Now, I just work in Orem,
but still need a car (the bus route is not efficient and I just don't want to
ride it, again, it's a pride thing...). There has not been one day where I did
not find a ride. But, I almost always had to ask for it. It definitely got
easier as I went along, and as I asked the same people, but I always had to swallow my pride and admit to not being
able to do something for myself. Do you see the miracle? It's May now, so that
is about 100 rides. I paid for gas of course, but still. People were amazing
and surely received many blessings from Heaven, and it started with
asking.
Moral of this story: Just ask for help.
It is incredibly easy
and can be prideful to only want to be the one giving service. Yes, the Savior
gave service, but He also took service. It's not
mentioned as much, but it seems His friends helped take care of Him too. That
scripture I linked describes how Christ did not have a home to lay down for the
night, but He spent it somewhere and is often with friends.
Just ask. My friend has a big need but she told me
straight up that she wasn't going to ask for help {I wasn't able
to help her either so it was safe to tell me this}. I am not trying to condemn
her for pride, but it is intriguing. We all have areas where we fall short. We
all have weaknesses. Sometimes, we don't even know what they are. So, ask for help, ask for feedback, ask for comments, direction,
etc.
Sorry, but your
perspective isn't perfect. Neither is mine, naturally, but we must all learn to
take feedback so that we can continue improving. I sometimes feel weak or
worthless if I have to ask for help, but this is not true. It is true that
I cannot do everything right, it is true that I fall short, that I don't see
everything clearly, and so I must ask. People don't want to
always jump in and tell me where I am failing, they don't want to "be
mean" or sometimes, they just can't see where they can help me. There are
lots of reasons, but there is no harm in asking for help. Just ask.
One last thing I would
like to mention: Prayer. ASK for it. Don't just tell God of your problems;
literally phrase it as a humble plea for help. Ask for help in thinking of
solutions, ask for solutions, and ask for strength. I don't know, but you do,
and He does too. And, He probably is the safest one to start asking for help,
we know He loves us unconditionally, and perfectly knows our situation, so,
start asking Him, and then He can help give you strength to ask your peers too.
Elder Richard G. Scott said "One of the great lessons that each of us needs to
learn is to ask." That is how we receive personal revelation, that is how we
receive truth, guidance, faith, strength, peace, we must humbly ask.
I hope this wasn't too
out of line, boring, too repetitive, etc. I just have been noticing it a lot
lately. People don't ask. They don't want to bother others; they don't want to
draw attention to their ignorance/faults/other reasons. I know it can be hard,
but I also promise it is worth it.
So, when I posted this on my Facebook/Twitter pages, I just asked people to read it, instead of just posting the link and an attempt at being witty...and this post got many more views than I've been typically been getting. Asking works people. :)
