Change

This chapter in my life has almost completely closed. The future is more intimidating than ever, and, sometimes it is almost too much to bear. Personally, I would like a little more control than I have, but I am still learning that it is wonderful as it is.

Among other things I have had to say goodbye to my car. Yes, I am a sentimental fool sometimes, but this car saved me on multiple occasions when I felt all was lost, from the miracle of his coming into my life, and through all the college adventures we had together as I worked my way through school. And Teddy, my car, left because he was old and beyond repair {he is parked in this picture, the tow truck was on its way}, reminding me of all the things that are changing in my life.

There is no truly "easy" path. Staples may have an "Easy Button" but unfortunately that doesn't seem to have much of an effect outside the commercials 

 I don't have any new wisdom to impart with you, in this or any post, but I would have you {and I} remember that change is a part of life, and not to give up or fear when it changes, even, like for me, in a way that you may have intellectually been expecting, but find that you are emotionally unprepared for. 

We have to remember who it is that has the plan for us. Thank goodness it is not me; my plans have a beautiful way of falling flat or self-destructing. 

We have a Heavenly Father who loves us, who not only is eternal and all powerful, but He is all knowing and all Loving. This creates a perfect balance for one who infinitely knows, has power, and motivation to care for each one of us.

My direction in life until this point has been to get my degree, which I now have. Before this, my plan for life after graduation has always been hazy, always changing, never sure where I was to go.

More things in life change, where you work, where you live, what your favorite foods are--i.e., my recent discovery that I like Asian food--and friends change. That is often the hardest for me, because sometimes I truly doubt why anyone would want to be my friend- no this does not last very long- so when friends change, go on to bigger and  better things it can be very hard for me. Yet, my friends change and it is ok.

Life happens.

I was at a job interview the other day, and was talking with the person I would be working close with if I got the job, and he asked me about how much I was expecting to make. This, though a typical question, puzzled me.  I didn't know the "right answer" he was looking for and I honestly didn't know what I wanted to make. I explained how I have lately been in a state where survival has been the main objective. There has just been so much change and uncertainty that I just didn't know anymore. I quickly thought about it, and so I told him a rough estimate. The interview kindly looked at me and explained that he would want me to do more than survive; and I am working on it and am getting there. 

Remember: Don't give up, just like Dory and Marlin, remember to "just keep swimming." Things have a funny way of working out. And don't forget,

Leviticus 26:12 “And I will walk among you, and I will be your God, and ye shall be my people.”

Change happens. Somehow through it all, we still can remember that He is our God, and that He loves us. He is there for us. Turn to Him. Come unto Christ. Remember that He is your foundation as you go throughout all the twists and turns, the storms, whirlwinds, confusion, darkness, boredom, loneliness, everything. He is there, He knows and loves you, and none shall fall who have Him as their foundation. We are all works in progress, and that means there are changes being made. 

"That which the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly." Keep going, keep changing, keep moving forward.

Integrity's Borders

In the BYU community, an issue has come up, which resides in shades of gray, causing many to angrily take sides. For the sake of time, here is the specific issue, but in general, it has to do with someone calling someone else out on an Honor Code issue.


There are two key places where people disagree. First, about keeping the Honor Code, and second, should we call someone else out {and if so, how?}?


First, keeping the Honor Code. I think that if someone has signed something saying they will or will not do something, that should be that. They should not toe the line and they should not be surprised if people notice when they slip up. Now, please. This does not mean we judge or seek to hurt people, but let's be honest. People notice when others do not live up to the standards they proclaim. For instance, the Honor Code is quite clear on matters of facial hair, leggings and skirt length, curfew, and on other major issues, people in BYU notice, and people outside the school, LDS or not, definitely and acutely notice. 


"I have read and agree to the terms" we all read that, check the box, but rarely if ever, do we read the actual terms. However, if you violate the terms listed, even without reading, you are still responsible to that legal document because you said you did. Similarly, BYU has a list of terms and conditions to attend this school. Instead of just assuming we agree and understand the terms, BYU has gone a step further and has an Ecclesiastical Endorsement process where these terms are explained to you and you once again agree to them. 


So, live up to what you agree. Next. 


Should we call each other out? Does the man who gave the note in this have a problem? Is he a creep? I don't know, but I don't think it actually matters. Please see this post for my stance on modesty and respect, if you would like to understand more about that specifically.


Whose responsibility is it that you keep the Honor Code? It is on your honor, so it ultimately comes down to you. However, is it wrong for people to help remind you? Is it wrong for people to notice and talk to you about it? In this particular instance, I don't know that the man was in the right. I don't have all the answers. It only mildly surprises me that this got to be such a big issue. Mostly, it disappoints me.


See, as a people, we proclaim that we have the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, which I can only assume means that we also claim to live it. We claim to love each other, to want to help each other. And then, something like this comes up, we blow it way out of proportion, we fight, we take offense, we stir the pot of guilt and anger, ultimately of hate.


I would hope people would individually keep their word of honor. I would hope that returned missionaries would live what they have taught, I would hope that people would love each other. So, it disappoints me when I see that they do not. It disappoints me when we forget. That's why this blog focuses so much on remembering. 


The two issues at hand are not eternally significant by themselves. Depending on where we go from here, however, can be eternally significant. I would urge you to remember to live what you believe, and to lovingly seek to help those around you too. Ultimately, we are trying to become like Christ, to strengthen the feeble knees and lift up the hands that hang down. We can't do that if we carry on bringing others down with us. I don't have a specific sheet to tell you when to talk to someone, but Heavenly Father is there and will help you as you seek to help yourself and others become a little better. 


No one is perfect, and I don't pretend to know the right answers all of the time. It is so much easier to say the right things than it is to live them. But, we must remember to keep trying. When someone gives me a note  saying I need to step up, I hope that after the initial shock, that I do. I hope that if I talk to my friends about standards issues that they listen to me. I hope that we can all remember to live with integrity. And, I hope that when we fall, we remember to get back up and to keep trying.

Let the Lord Surprise You

Of about 4 major surprises in my life, I knew of 3 long before they came. I was a curious child the first time and the second and third times, my friends gave it away on purpose. Each time, as the surprise finally rolled around, I was really happy... but a little disappointed. The element of surprise was gone and with it, part of the joy. Now, don't get me wrong. I thoroughly enjoyed the gifts, but the fun of the surprise was taken away, leaving me a little sad that I had found out beforehand.

See, this comes from a love of planning things, knowing where all the pieces fit, and the overall feeling of control and peace that comes from knowing. But, let's face it, 1. I cannot control everything and 2. Even if I could, I do not know enough or am perfect enough to perfectly plan the greatest happiness for myself or anyone else.

Last week in institute, which was the inspiration for this post, we talked about Moses and the plagues. My instructor brought up that the number of plagues before the eventual destruction of the first born children of the Egyptians, is an expression of God's love. Obstacles in our life can be overcome, we can learn and because of the Atonement, we can truly repent and become better. Then, and only then, will we find that the pieces leading to true joy, truly fit into our lives.

We have so much to look forward to. The obstacles and hardships will only bring us closer to Him, if we will  remember to let the Lord surprise us. He has the control, He knows the plan, He knows you.

Therefore, "Brethren [and sisters], shall we not go on in so great a cause? Go forward and not backward. Courage brethren [and sisters]; and on, on to the victory. Let your hearts rejoice, and be exceedingly glad." (Doctrine and Covenants 128:22) It will take courage and many encouraging reminders, but we can rejoice in His plan, we can keep moving forward.

We know the ending, we have faith in His eternal plan, and yet, sometimes the "How" and/or "When" is a little more vague. It is at these times that we need to remember to let the Lord surprise us, just like we need to remember to have faith and to keep moving forward. Like the hymn, "Press Forward, Saints" and the corresponding scriptures in 2 Nephi 31:20 and Helaman 3:28-30, we can remember to have hope in Christ. We can remember that even if we do not know how, or when, or even when we lose sight of the eternal perspective, that we can keep going. We can remember to trust in the Lord at all times, in all things, and in all places. Even in our darkest moments, the ones where everything and nothing is wrong, where we feel so weak and helpless, that He will surprise us, He will show us His plan and it will be for the best.

I realize I've written about this topic a lot lately, it is one that I am trying hard to remember. We all struggle, we all fall down, we all come up short, the mistakes we make are often larger and more frequent than we would wish, but we are on the Lord's side. We know He has a plan, we know He has a way prepared, and we know we can keep going, as long as we remember Him.

I just discovered this verse at institute. It is so great and powerful. Remember that the Lord is fighting for you, and you will have peace as you turn to Him. Remember to let the Lord surprise you as you keep your faith in Him.

The Comeback Kid

Why do we all love the "Comeback" victory? It is synonymous with triumph, improvement, victory, true winning. I mean, to have a good comeback, even just thinking of a witty remark, truly feels like a victory to me. Why though?

I think it has something to do with overcoming. I think it has something to do with remembering our struggle. Would the victory be so sweet if it was just handed to us? I mean, if you're on the winning team, a win is a win (i.e. the Lakers or Yankees), sure, but what about historic comebacks like

The Miracle Bowl: (1980 Holiday Bowl) BYU came back in the fourth quarter, including a "last second 'miracle' touchdown" for a 46 to 45 win against SMU Mustangs

And these {for those of you like me, I wrote a little bit about the game}. I promise that even though it's about sports it has a message for everyone.



The Buffalo Bills and the Houston Oilers in 1993 is currently the biggest comeback in the NFL. It was during the playoffs and the Bills were able to recover from a 32 point deficit to win in overtime.

The Miracle on Ice, 1980 (what a great year for monumental comebacks, no?), in the New York Olympics, the US team defeated the world's greatest hockey team, the Soviets.

I think this message strikes with us because we love the idea that someway, somehow, we can be successful. Maybe not here, maybe not in the way we expect, but in the end there will be a victory. We can do more than survive this world, even in the bleakest circumstances, a person can choose be happy, can have love, and can have a wonderful life. In the end, there will be a great comeback. The biggest obstacles will be overcome, there is always hope. There is a lot we can learn from sports, a lot we can learn from life if we will just take the time to remember and look around us.