Integrity's Borders

In the BYU community, an issue has come up, which resides in shades of gray, causing many to angrily take sides. For the sake of time, here is the specific issue, but in general, it has to do with someone calling someone else out on an Honor Code issue.


There are two key places where people disagree. First, about keeping the Honor Code, and second, should we call someone else out {and if so, how?}?


First, keeping the Honor Code. I think that if someone has signed something saying they will or will not do something, that should be that. They should not toe the line and they should not be surprised if people notice when they slip up. Now, please. This does not mean we judge or seek to hurt people, but let's be honest. People notice when others do not live up to the standards they proclaim. For instance, the Honor Code is quite clear on matters of facial hair, leggings and skirt length, curfew, and on other major issues, people in BYU notice, and people outside the school, LDS or not, definitely and acutely notice. 


"I have read and agree to the terms" we all read that, check the box, but rarely if ever, do we read the actual terms. However, if you violate the terms listed, even without reading, you are still responsible to that legal document because you said you did. Similarly, BYU has a list of terms and conditions to attend this school. Instead of just assuming we agree and understand the terms, BYU has gone a step further and has an Ecclesiastical Endorsement process where these terms are explained to you and you once again agree to them. 


So, live up to what you agree. Next. 


Should we call each other out? Does the man who gave the note in this have a problem? Is he a creep? I don't know, but I don't think it actually matters. Please see this post for my stance on modesty and respect, if you would like to understand more about that specifically.


Whose responsibility is it that you keep the Honor Code? It is on your honor, so it ultimately comes down to you. However, is it wrong for people to help remind you? Is it wrong for people to notice and talk to you about it? In this particular instance, I don't know that the man was in the right. I don't have all the answers. It only mildly surprises me that this got to be such a big issue. Mostly, it disappoints me.


See, as a people, we proclaim that we have the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, which I can only assume means that we also claim to live it. We claim to love each other, to want to help each other. And then, something like this comes up, we blow it way out of proportion, we fight, we take offense, we stir the pot of guilt and anger, ultimately of hate.


I would hope people would individually keep their word of honor. I would hope that returned missionaries would live what they have taught, I would hope that people would love each other. So, it disappoints me when I see that they do not. It disappoints me when we forget. That's why this blog focuses so much on remembering. 


The two issues at hand are not eternally significant by themselves. Depending on where we go from here, however, can be eternally significant. I would urge you to remember to live what you believe, and to lovingly seek to help those around you too. Ultimately, we are trying to become like Christ, to strengthen the feeble knees and lift up the hands that hang down. We can't do that if we carry on bringing others down with us. I don't have a specific sheet to tell you when to talk to someone, but Heavenly Father is there and will help you as you seek to help yourself and others become a little better. 


No one is perfect, and I don't pretend to know the right answers all of the time. It is so much easier to say the right things than it is to live them. But, we must remember to keep trying. When someone gives me a note  saying I need to step up, I hope that after the initial shock, that I do. I hope that if I talk to my friends about standards issues that they listen to me. I hope that we can all remember to live with integrity. And, I hope that when we fall, we remember to get back up and to keep trying.

I Feel My Savior's Love

I feel my Savior’s Love,

In all the world around me,

His Spirit warms my soul

Through everything I see

This post was initially a follow-up to my post on a Break in the Storm. As I’ve been talking and thinking about that post, I have gained more insight, and I know that where it is a decent beginning, I have a long way to go to truly see the depth and strength that the Gospel brings. I truly feel my Savior’s love all around me, when I pause to notice all the beauty and detail and care that has so clearly gone into the planning and execution of the world.

I feel my Savior’s Love

Its gentleness enfolds me

And when I kneel to pray,

My heart is filled with peace

It's gentleness enfolds me, every day, when I remember and turn to Him. He shows me the way back to  finding true joy, and hope for the future.

One person I have talked with, has said:

“Some of the most beautiful sunrises, and sunsets, occur around storms. I don't always notice the beautiful sunrise/sunset... because I'm focused on the storm, or its direct effects like resulting damage. When you have a bad storm, you just can't ignore the problems and skip/jump thru the little puddles like little children love to do.  But who is more likely to notice [the positive aspects] first?

“The child is. Both the adult, and the child were in the storm... the child may have even truly feared it more, but whatever you want to attribute it too... the child is the most likely to look up, enjoy, appreciate and benefit from the beautiful sunrise/sunset.

“For me personally, I seem to attach some sort of 'Hope' when I see a beautiful sunrise.  I think it's from times when things have seemed dark for me, that I'm reminded the world doesn't STAY dark”

I know that when I pray, I truly am filled with His peace. The devil certainly can be convincing, but when we pray, we can truly feel of our Savior’s love and learn of His plan for us, and once again find joy.

I know that He will bless me

I offer Him my heart

My Shepherd He will be

  

I’ll share my Savior’s love

By serving others freely

He knows I will follow Him

Give all my life to Him

I feel my Savior’s Love,

The Love He freely gives me.

These words are so poetic. We sing these songs so often that their meaning is usually lost on us. My Shepherd He will be. He knows I will follow Him. These things are easy to forget, to lose sight of; and when we do that it is easy to despair. 

Have you felt your Savior’s love today? Have you shared that love with others? Look for ways that you see His love and I promise you will find it. Look for Him in the beautiful sunrise and in the sunset, for the hope of a clear after the storm, in all the intricacies and details of your life, and in all the big plans. Great things are in store for you, though you may not see the pieces coming together, know that they are. Hope is just a prayer away. 

Also, here is a YouTube video of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing the song which inspired this post and reminded this author's heart of truth, peace, and love. I was having a hard day and then this song came up and helped me feel peace once more. I hope it helps you when you need to find peace, too.

Words by Ralph Rodgers Jr., K. Newell Dayley, and Laurie Huffman

Learn to Live

In the space of an hour, I have truly felt healed. Many may say that that's impossible. But, I testify to all that the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ, can cause miracles of healing in our hearts.

I have been struggling for awhile, unhappy with the inability to plan my life, feeling like I was doing everything wrong. But then, I read this talk, and after a lot of prayer, I truly feel peace. 

Yes, I am still mostly in the dark, with no major, lasting specifics to guide my way. Yet, something has changed. I have learned it is so necessary to LIVE. Sometimes, living requires hurt, it requires an almost complete shut-down, while things struggle to make sense; Christ is always there. He will always reach our reaching. This implies that we reach. We try. We live. We find purpose. We find our foundation and are not scared to build upon it. 

His Grace is sufficient to heal any wound. His Grace is sufficient to heal a stubborn heart and give peace to the torn soul.

We can move forward, even in the darkest of surroundings, and still feel His Eternal, Perfect, Healing Peace. Love. Guidance. That is, if we keep asking and trusting His plan, walking in His ways, not after the desires of our own hearts, even when they are not "bad things" He truly has the Best things for us. Through trusting His plan, asking for help each day, we can truly feel peace. We may be weak. We need His grace. It is there. Reach for Him. Ask Him for help. Then, remember to Listen, because He so desperately wants to heal you, turn to Him, tell Him of your struggles, your fears, maybe write a blog post or two ;) 

Know that you are so loved. You can find peace too. You can learn how to live. It takes work, especially when nothing seems to be going right. But I truly know that it will, the pain will cease, and you can find joy when you turn to the Source, even Jesus Christ.