Lies: Nothing but the Truth

Lately I've been thinking a lot about why lying is a big deal. I know we talk about it a lot, but I haven't really thought about it that much until recently.

This post will hopefully help us understand about lying, and find the compassion we need to forgive. We've all made mistakes and need to learn to let things go, but it takes a long time to get over the hurt. It also ties into hypocrisy, and intention. 

So, hypocrisy, the unintentional hurt, and disappointment from people not living up to the idea we have of them is hard to deal with. Yet, this is easier to forgive because "they didn't mean to." 

Hypocrites usually don't mean to be hypocritical. 

They've just justified their behavior to themselves, and don't feel like that label applies to them. 

What I'm trying to say, is that we need to get to a point where we don't take offense; even if it is intentional. Should it matter if it is a long series of intentional "offenses"? I submit that though it is much harder, it isn't something we should have to hold on to. Yes, this makes me a hypocrite because I've taken offense at someone when it was intentional, and of course when it was unintentional. I'm still a work in progress. It doesn't make the truth is any less true.

God doesn't lie. We are able to trust Him, something that is so vital to our progression, because we know He doesn't lie.Therefore, if I understand why lying is so awful and hurts so much, and change my perception and behavior, then I can be more like Him, I can be a better person, and I don't have to hurt those around me, and theoretically can forgive those who hurt me.

It's a tall order.

And I'm short {haha....but really}.We all fall short, when we're working alone.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where all people struggle, all people are going to disappoint us, try to cover up the hard truths with white lies, or are just scared of losing us, so they tell us what they think we want to hear, or what is easier for them to admit to. Come on, we've all been there.

So, why is it so hard on the other side? When you're the one that sees someone struggle, when you are the person your friend doesn't want to disappoint, is scared of losing, and can't admit their shortcomings to, it really hurts. Look - I have felt the hurt, and I don't have a perfect answer that allows you to heal yourself.

"You have your agency, and inspiration [or healing/progression] does not--perhaps cannot--flow unless you ask for it....No message in scripture is repeated more often than the invitation, even the command, to pray--to ask." President Boyd K. Packer

Lying hurts, it hurts those lied to and it hurts those who lie. Hypocrisy isn't going to go away over night but it is something we can work on, and we can learn to forgive even those closest to us, who we see repeatedly fall short. We can't do it alone. Yet, we can get through this challenge, like any other challenge set before us.

Stories, Eclipse, Inside Jokes, Journals, Attention, Birthdays, AND MORE

Everyone has a story, that if told, could break your heart.

But, today: mine is not one of those.

Reality Check

Ok. 

First. I bet, about 1/2 of you, or more (I haven't done the stats) will read this and think something like, "this doesn't apply to me." That's great! Except that it does. Just change out the specifics, go to the general principles.

We have all grown up with the idea that that "perfect person" that is "meant to be" will just waltz in to your life (though we keep in mind, they may samba, jive, or otherwise foxtrot into your life- we leave it up to their personality on that one). We have also heard for years that there is not just one "perfect person" that alone is "meant to be," so how do we combine those ideas, because, if you ask any person in a truly committed and happy relationship, that person is their soul mate.

Naturally, many of you already know. We also hear that God waits for the perfect time for everything in our lives.

So, how does this all fit, and where is our responsibility?

See, God has a perfect timetable for your life. It even fits perfectly with your choices, and yes, I can argue that philosophically, but I don't want to right now, so just remember what you already know about that, and if nothing else, just believe me on this one.

But, He doesn't just decide haphazardly when the "right time" is, the perfect person is right for a reason. You have to actively choose and be that kind of person, for light attracts light (D&C 88:40). Now, there is another balance that we need to remember, and that is "pray as if all depends on God, act as if it all depends on you" and that applies here too. Do not despair, trust in His timing above all things, JUST please don't let it be an excuse to sit back and think He will do everything. Yes. This is a note to myself more than anything else.

You can't just sit back and wait for God to do all the work finding your soul mate. This extends beyond just dating a lot. You have to be in the right place: in your development, and that takes effort my friend.

Now, don't get all mad and say I'm not credible because I am very single and so therefore have no legitimacy. Truth is still true. Your choices matter. They shape your eternal character, which makes you the perfect fit for "that person" it's not some crazy, unknowable, mystical force, it is a perfectly wise God who waits for you to be ready. I don't know what I need to change, what I need to improve so that I can be ready. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I am definitely a work in progress. And, I am doing what I can to make sure I change deliberately. Yet, in the meantime, I can be content, I can be faithful, and I can definitely be happy along the way.

Remember the principles of work and faith, and you got it. Reality check. Life is definitely a balance, and it's definitely not consistent. Things keep changing and growing, and subtracting, and multiplying. Life changes. You get the idea. Just keep the faith. Miracles can happen, but they are often disguised through hard work and a long time period, and come in ways you didn't expect. Isn't life great? I think so.

I am sure I didn't capture everything that I will wish I had, so I reserve the right to edit my posts later, adding and subtracting as I deem necessary. Especially because I keep learning and remembering along the way, so it's very likely to change, and to seek to find, balance, and live what is true.

Puzzles and Perspective

Puzzles

Puzzles

Puzzles

Puzzles intrigue me. I have two main metaphors that I use with puzzles, which I find calming, bringing life back into perspective. They are by no means perfect, but fun to think about and to remember.

When putting a puzzle together, I often find a piece that looks perfect. It has the right colors, it has the basic shape. But it does not fit. The angle is wrong. The corners don't line up. I usually fight with it for a little while begging it to just go where I want.

I love to plan things- I love to watch my plans unfold in my life and I love seeing how everything just fits together. Sometimes, like with a perfect job, or a perfect school, perfect life, everything just seems so close that it physically hurts when it does not fit together. If the angle was changed in just the right way it would fit perfectly.

But where does that leave the rest of the puzzle, the piece that was meant to go there? What about where the altered piece was supposed to go? 

There is a Hebrew proverb that fits here- "if you ever want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans." We don't have the perspective to always know what is right for us. We have our ideals and our visions of grandeur, but sometimes they fall apart. The pieces don't fit together.

I'm at a point right now in life where for myself and those around me, life is starting to fall into place. When we continue on doing the best we can with the pieces of our lives we can see and manage, we can take a step back and see the picture of what is to come. Because of Him, all the pieces have a place. Each piece contributes a vital piece to the puzzle of our individual lives, and the puzzle of the entire world. 

My second metaphor is closely related and I can sum it up in one sentence:

I figure, if God can guide the tiny pieces into their perfect places, He can surely guide the big pieces.

Sometimes in my day, I am just miserable about something. It is probably small and of no consequence, but still it is hard. One semester, I had to walk a long way to class, up and down this really long set of stairs at least 5 times a day, and was always almost late for class. This was in the summer and it was really hot. I would come up the stairs after the second time and just want to cry. Luckily I kept walking. But everyday, for just thirty seconds, this little breeze enveloped me. I felt better and refreshed because of it. Other times I will be in an extreme hurry or coming home from a long day, and I just want a good parking spot. And I can tell you that I found them. I found the comfort that I was seeking. 

If He can give me what I need just when I need it, these little moments, I know He can put the big ones in place, like the rewards of my work, education, job, spouse, health, etc. It's in the little blessings that we truly find the Lord's magnificence. Big puzzles are easy to put together. The little puzzles that look so close together and have so much detail its hard to distinguish, are for the more advanced puzzlers. He is already the master of the small things so I can trust that He will take care of the Big Pieces too, and He has.

Keep life in perspective. Keep moving forward. Remember Him. Remember that even if your life puzzles you with all its confusing intricacies that there is the Master at the helm, He can see what goes where, He knows what your puzzle will look like when it is finished, He knows how to connect it to the entire world, everything has a place. Trust in Him.