Saturday, June 23, 2012

Journey


So, this is one of those posts that I write basically stream of consciousness, because the idea won't leave my head alone, so I'll write it so I can hopefully get some peace and clarity of mind, and then rewrite it later when my thoughts are more organized.

I wanted to let you all know that I am starting a journey of self-discovery. I recognize that this is something I should have started long before now, as I've already past all the teenage years and all through college, but I am excited that I am finally getting around to it. I can't wait to see where it will take me, and who I'll meet along the way. See, knowing who I am is a key factor in how I live my life, how I interact with others, and how I can make the change in the world that I have been sent here for.

I fully believe that people become experts because it is something they are passionate about {or at least were when they began their journey}, and experts are the ones helping and making a difference. The thing is, I am not sure what it is that I am passionate about, and sometimes I fear that it is too late for me, even if I discovered it tomorrow, to do anything about it. I recognize that I have interests in life, i.e., reading/writing, dance, and psychology, but am I truly passionate about them? I've searched high and low in these and other fields and don't know quite what to do.

Success/expertise is in mastering the details, and I have yet to find the one niche where I am motivated to perfect the details, to become truly expert at them.

It's funny because people do these get-to-know you things, and want to get to know me {and I them}, but at this point, I am not sure I know who I am either. Today I watched a movie in which the main girls each had a passion, one was acting, the other was airplanes, and the last was dancing, and each had discovered this passion early on in their life. I am not saying that that discovery is necessary at a young age, but I am saying it is a vital one. I need to know me, I need to know my likes and dislikes, my fears, my joys, and most of all my passion for life. Unconsciously, I would imagine that I know who I am. However, consciously, I am still a mystery to me. I'll keep you updated here, because we all need to remember who we are and where we want to go.

I think outside perspectives are increasingly vital. For instance, it was my mom who revealed the great fact about me that when I am tired or hungry, I get grumpy. Now, this doesn't seem like a miraculous discovery, but it was a correlation I had not been able to see in myself. And, I would imagine that if I can't even put those basic things together, what else am I missing? So, I will start listening to those around me and trying to see what they see when they look at me, but most of all, I will turn to my Father in Heaven, who has guided me in the best paths.

Who am I?
Where did I come from?
Where am I going?

2 comments:

  1. The only way you could completely know yourself, would be to stop living and review all of your past thoroughly (you'd probably take on the appearance of a grumpy-old librarian to busy to enjoy anything. Talk to those you consider experts in something, and ask them if they are completely 'mystery free'. I think you'll find they are more likely to discover new things, than those comfortably, collapsing into their well known, well traveled rut.

    Perspective is one of my favorite words, but it doesn't always lead you to the truth. Remember the cute story about the elephant and the blind men trying to guess what it is. And no... you're not an elephant (not even a cute, tiny, pink one). One of the joys of life is discovering something about yourself you hadn't previously known -- you might thrive on photography, or hang-gliding, or working on a Polynesian island for the CIA? :)

    May there always be some mystery ahead of you, about you, and some new joy to discover.

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    Replies
    1. That's a great point. :) I totally understand and I must not have explained myself very well. I need to experience things to know who I am, not just intellectually but through experience.

      It's definitely a lifelong process, I just don't think I've been paying attention to who I am, just pushing myself forward, too busy to stop, see what's going on and how I react, and how I can be better.

      That is a good story about the elephants, and it is the same thing, but I think if the elephant doesn't know its an elephant, it will experience serious issues.

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