January

Do you remember January? It’s June 30th today. I wrote this post back in January to see what was important and what people remember.

Some of my friends on Facebook wrote:

My New Year's Resolution is to have exponentially more fun in 2012 than I did in 2011! That's all. Happy New Years everyone!
Well, it’s 2012 and so far it’s been a great day!
Best year yet. Tonight I'm just happy to be spending time with my friends. :) Happy New Years Eve everyone!
2012 is here! Whoa!
2011, I am a huge fan! Thanks for giving me new friends, relationships, healing, income, understanding, businesses, and a whole new level of love. I am so grateful for you! May you continue to bear fruit and plant many more seeds in 2012!
 Life is truly good (:
Today was so much better than yesterday! Good outlook on the New Year? I am thinking yes!
It’s going to be a great year, I can tell already!

Do you remember the hope you felt in January? It was the beginning of a new year, a second chance at happiness. Hope is contagious. Hope is precious. Hope is vital. I hope the months in between January and now have left you joyful.

Remember to have hope. Remember that each new day is a gift, a second chance to try a little harder, to be a little better. 

Life gets in the way sometimes, but there is always hope.

What do you remember? What are you working on and what have you gotten distracted from? Remember January today. Remember to have hope today and remember to smile!

Our Eternal Treasure Map

The other day I helped make a treasure map, and it sparked some thought and discovery surrounding our own Eternal Treasure Maps.

I've been thinking a lot lately about light, direction, and confusion.

So, what does this have to do with treasure maps? Well, we're here on this mortal existence, trying to make sense of what we've been given in comparison to what we can see around us. One of the things we can see around us is where we want to go. Another is how we think we can get there. Finally, is others around us.

We are given a series of clues (as shown in the middle of the map), which are usually cryptic, and we are given images of surrounding areas corresponding with the clues and general direction.

Then, we are left to choose. We get to fully decide who we are, where we are going, and if we will strive to follow the directions given to us.

Now, you can't tell from the picture, but by the trees, it gives the warning "Here there be monsters" to explain to the holder of the map why they can't just cut from the start to the finish. So, we can choose if we want to face the monsters and hope to find a path through, or we can go around as the map directs.

We may not even know where exactly the path is ending, or what the clues truly mean until we get there. Once we do, it may become clear that "Joseph's Grave" is not actually a grave site, but a granite sign with the name Joseph on it.

Others around us may look like they are following the same map and should be at the same place you are. We are all given the clues, we are all given help along the way, and we don't know where they are on the map, or what detours they've taken compared to us.

We can only follow the clues we've been given, the hints of inspiration and the moments of clarity.

Keep walking towards the light, towards heaven. Please remember that you may think you understand the clues up ahead, but don't skip past them anyway. Take that one step in front of you now and continue in faith. You'll get to your destination, you can see some things ahead now, keep going and learning along the way.

Learn the lesson that is in front of you, and keep searching for understanding. Follow the True Light, and you'll come out alright.

Journey

So, this is one of those posts that I write basically stream of consciousness, because the idea won't leave my head alone, so I'll write it so I can hopefully get some peace and clarity of mind, and then rewrite it later when my thoughts are more organized.

I wanted to let you all know that I am starting a journey of self-discovery. I recognize that this is something I should have started long before now, as I've already past all the teenage years and all through college, but I am excited that I am finally getting around to it. I can't wait to see where it will take me, and who I'll meet along the way. See, knowing who I am is a key factor in how I live my life, how I interact with others, and how I can make the change in the world that I have been sent here for.

I fully believe that people become experts because it is something they are passionate about {or at least were when they began their journey}, and experts are the ones helping and making a difference. The thing is, I am not sure what it is that I am passionate about, and sometimes I fear that it is too late for me, even if I discovered it tomorrow, to do anything about it. I recognize that I have interests in life, i.e., reading/writing, dance, and psychology, but am I truly passionate about them? I've searched high and low in these and other fields and don't know quite what to do.

Success/expertise is in mastering the details, and I have yet to find the one niche where I am motivated to perfect the details, to become truly expert at them.

It's funny because people do these get-to-know you things, and want to get to know me {and I them}, but at this point, I am not sure I know who I am either. Today I watched a movie in which the main girls each had a passion, one was acting, the other was airplanes, and the last was dancing, and each had discovered this passion early on in their life. I am not saying that that discovery is necessary at a young age, but I am saying it is a vital one. I need to know me, I need to know my likes and dislikes, my fears, my joys, and most of all my passion for life. Unconsciously, I would imagine that I know who I am. However, consciously, I am still a mystery to me. I'll keep you updated here, because we all need to remember who we are and where we want to go.

I think outside perspectives are increasingly vital. For instance, it was my mom who revealed the great fact about me that when I am tired or hungry, I get grumpy. Now, this doesn't seem like a miraculous discovery, but it was a correlation I had not been able to see in myself. And, I would imagine that if I can't even put those basic things together, what else am I missing? So, I will start listening to those around me and trying to see what they see when they look at me, but most of all, I will turn to my Father in Heaven, who has guided me in the best paths.

Who am I?
Where did I come from?
Where am I going?

Numb

Does it ever feel like it would just be easier to not care anymore? I know I’ve felt like that. It would just be easier to cut those areas/people/events out of your life, and feel numb to pain. I mean, as we already know, it is impossible to feel joy without pain, but have you ever just wanted to be numb to it all? 

I think it is important to remember that it is a terrible thing never feel pain, no matter how truly hard and heart wrenching it is in the moment, it is not adequately describable. But, it is so vital to our eternal character, so where pain isn't fun, it isn't something I would recommend intentionally seeking out, pain has some great teaching moments. 

There is this rare disorder called “congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis” or CIPA, which has been on my mind as of late. Basically, it means that the different pain pathways don’t work in the people with this condition. And, sadly, that means that they usually wear out their bodies by the age of 8. Half of the people with this condition, shown here, die by the age of three. There are some great videos and articles out there, so if you’re interested just search those terms.

We want to be happy, and we want to be free from pain. We just usually choose the wrong path to get us there. We have the truth, we have the light and the way to get us to eternal and true happiness. It just happens to lead us first, through a life of pain, to teach us, to help us to grow and to become who we truly are. Now we just need to remember that though the pathway leads through pain, it is for a small moment. It hurts now but pain has an end. And, it also acts as a catalyst to get us where we need to go, shaping us into who we can be for eternity.

Life is Pain, Highness

People tend to forget, outside of the moment, what the phrases 'It will be hard,' 'life is difficult,' and that the phrase "this will hurt" truly mean, and that they are quite accurate. And then, that moment comes, and they want to give up, because it is so hard.

I do this...frequently. It doesn't make a ton of sense really, yet, it is so easy to forget.

I know I tend to trivialize pain, hurt, and the general trials of life, until they come. THEN I tend to exaggerate them, unconsciously, because my focus goes entirely inward, how I'm hurting, how life's unfair, how could this happen to me?

Well, I'm here to remind myself that pain is real.

Pain Hurts. Pain Scars. And Pain Ends.
Then, it comes back in a new form.

This post isn't written with the idea that "Life is pain, highness" but, to an extent, it is. I hate it when I feel like my pain is trivialized. It is deeply meaningful to me and I feel like that should matter to the people I share it with.

Life is going to hurt more than you can possibly imagine right now. You know enough. You are strong enough, when you turn to Christ. There is something worth fighting for.

Don't give in to the appealing "easy way." There isn't an Easy Button. It is ok that it hurts. It is ok that you really are crying. It is ok that everything feels wrong, directionless, and impossible.

Hold on to whatever level of faith you can manage, and move forward through the pain. Then, when you get out, don't forget what it taught you. Let the refining fire change you into something better, something that can remember, that the pain helped shape your eternal character. Removing your imperfections is a painful process, and it is going to take awhile my friend. Sorry about that. You'll get there, and you'll be glad you did.

All These Things

So, you know those times where everything piles up, well, it's been one of those times. Combine that with I've been doing a ton of writing at work, and you get a huge delay in writing. Even now is a rush-write.

Life constantly changes, we all know this. It just keep striking me because this "next phase of my life" is taking quite some time to settle. If you had talked to me in August, every single aspect of life was quantitatively and qualitatively different than it is today.

Imagine if you will, an empty vessel of some kind. Now, pretend that as life's experiences come and go, they fill it up, a little bit at a time. Now, this vessel is an empty version of you--of each one of us. In my life, I've probably filled up my right leg metaphorically, with experiences. As I grow and experience life, I become a little more "full" if you will, I become a little bit more of who I truly am

These changes in my life right now feel so huge and intimidating at times. I just have to remember to take it one step at a time, it's just like starting college, high school, or even going down that tall, scary water slide for the first time and getting to the bottom and realizing truth :). Life keeps moving forward, things change, isn't that great? I read something the other day, about "all things have an end- they give the example of friends ;) cheesy, yes--but fair. Christ does not end, life does not end, eternity does not end (so do many other, non-applicable words, but you get my [and the original author's] point).

We need to remember our purpose. We need to remember that all these things shall work for our good. And, that is wonderful. It's hard to remember. It's hard to take that plunge and then keep waiting for reality to sink in, (you probably got stuck on the metaphorical water slide, but you'll get to the end, twist and turn, push a little harder). Keep filling your life with wonderful experiences, find joy, and try new and exciting things. It's not as scary or stressful as you think it is. It's just the first time you're doing something, but I promise, it will be safe, it will be fun, and you will "make it."


*I just got back from a water park with my dad and little sister, hence the water slide references...but I think they apply anyway.
**In other news, I've been learning how to make websites, and I've been really thinking about making one for me. It won't be anything terribly special, but if I move mine, I'll give you plenty of notice (mostly because it will take me ages to set it up)