Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Deliberate vs. Manipulative

So, I just read Alma 43:30 where it talks about Moroni’s opinion that it was “no sin that he should defend them [the Nephites] by stratagem.” It got me thinking of something I’ve thought about before, and shared on here, the importance of being deliberate.

True to form, I now have a (probably unclear) example from my life for you. See, in college, I had a friend who was very fun and persuasive. He told me all about this ‘dating game’ and all sorts of rules, and ways to get someone to date you.
I didn’t like it – it felt so manipulative and deceitful. So, I began to think the whole world was this way, and I would (until recently) associate all flirting with this game. It didn’t help that all sorts of books depict the ‘bad guy’ as a manipulator, or in chick-flick, there’s always the girl you don’t like who manipulates the guy for a while (Caroline Bingley). Anyway, I began to view flirting as negative. I mean, I wouldn’t want to be with someone for eternity that had to be manipulated into being attracted to me.

But, like all areas in life, there is a balance.


The definition of deliberate has gotten skewed in this aspect for me. Let’s be deliberate in seeking worthy things, like education, a fulfilling job, improving ourselves, and of course our testimonies. Let’s pay a little more attention and defend what is important by stratagem. We can be smart, plan ahead, critically think and act, and become better people, and improve our lives, deliberately. And we’ll watch our growth dramatically increase.

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