Lies: Nothing but the Truth

Lately I've been thinking a lot about why lying is a big deal. I know we talk about it a lot, but I haven't really thought about it that much until recently.

This post will hopefully help us understand about lying, and find the compassion we need to forgive. We've all made mistakes and need to learn to let things go, but it takes a long time to get over the hurt. It also ties into hypocrisy, and intention. 

So, hypocrisy, the unintentional hurt, and disappointment from people not living up to the idea we have of them is hard to deal with. Yet, this is easier to forgive because "they didn't mean to." 

Hypocrites usually don't mean to be hypocritical. 

They've just justified their behavior to themselves, and don't feel like that label applies to them. 

What I'm trying to say, is that we need to get to a point where we don't take offense; even if it is intentional. Should it matter if it is a long series of intentional "offenses"? I submit that though it is much harder, it isn't something we should have to hold on to. Yes, this makes me a hypocrite because I've taken offense at someone when it was intentional, and of course when it was unintentional. I'm still a work in progress. It doesn't make the truth is any less true.

God doesn't lie. We are able to trust Him, something that is so vital to our progression, because we know He doesn't lie.Therefore, if I understand why lying is so awful and hurts so much, and change my perception and behavior, then I can be more like Him, I can be a better person, and I don't have to hurt those around me, and theoretically can forgive those who hurt me.

It's a tall order.

And I'm short {haha....but really}.We all fall short, when we're working alone.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where all people struggle, all people are going to disappoint us, try to cover up the hard truths with white lies, or are just scared of losing us, so they tell us what they think we want to hear, or what is easier for them to admit to. Come on, we've all been there.

So, why is it so hard on the other side? When you're the one that sees someone struggle, when you are the person your friend doesn't want to disappoint, is scared of losing, and can't admit their shortcomings to, it really hurts. Look - I have felt the hurt, and I don't have a perfect answer that allows you to heal yourself.

"You have your agency, and inspiration [or healing/progression] does not--perhaps cannot--flow unless you ask for it....No message in scripture is repeated more often than the invitation, even the command, to pray--to ask." President Boyd K. Packer

Lying hurts, it hurts those lied to and it hurts those who lie. Hypocrisy isn't going to go away over night but it is something we can work on, and we can learn to forgive even those closest to us, who we see repeatedly fall short. We can't do it alone. Yet, we can get through this challenge, like any other challenge set before us.

How Do I React When...?

I know I always shock you with my amazing thoughts you've never thought before, so try not to be shocked by this revelation.

There are a few different types of people in this world. I am going to focus on a couple different ways people react to offense. There are those who take offense to everything and hold grudges, anger, and bitterness towards the other. There are those that quickly let go of anger, but quietly are hurt. There are those that have a way of truly forgiving and moving forward, letting go of both anger and hurt. I recently read in Helaman where the prophet Nephi gives a great revelation about a murder and who the murderer is. Many people disregard this, even when it was shown to be a true miracle; and there were those that believed him from the beginning, and there were those who believed after they saw. We each have reasons for reacting the way that we do.

And, we feel completely justified {at least in the moment} for reacting that way. If you couldn't guess, I am the second type of person. I let go of anger quickly, but I haven't quite figured out how to let the hurt go. I just tend to let it sit there, as long as it's not hurting anyone else, it's ok, right? No. Alas, I am not perfect. Another shock for you, I'm sure. Ha. Anyway. I just have a hard time with "how" to trust people again, how to let go, how to continue to have faith in humanity, and if I am not careful in the future, I won't know how to have faith in my God. Ok. This is coming across too extreme.

Let me give you an example, maybe it will come across how I want. I can say this because I know the person involved doesn't read my blog because she told me so, and we're still friends, so it's cool. Though, she should read this anyway, right? Haha.

Well, this friend and I have had our ups and downs, and like girls do, we talk about the downs, and go on with our friendship. Well, as she knows and you now know, I don't always let the hurt go from the times we've been "down" in our friendship. I just don't always know how. Now, at the risk of this sounding like an unwanted public apology, I would have you know that I am getting better. I think. Yet, I also know that the Lord is there to pick me up, when I recognize where I am, where I truly want to go, and that He is there. He is there for me and my friendships, helping me let go of any hurt, intentional or not, even when I don't know how to let go.

We need to remember how we react to things. We need to know areas that cause us stress, and we need to prayerfully find ways to improve. If we don't know what we're doing wrong, we're going to keep doing it. In addition, "If you can't describe what you are doing as a process, you don't know what you're doing." --W. Edwards Deming (for those of you who want to know who he is).

So, identify areas where you are not strong, for we know that we are shown these {if we're paying attention} that the Lord will help make them strengths. Therefore, we can assume, by the end of my life's journey, if not before {hopefully I'm not that slow of a learner}, I will be the third type who miraculously lets it go and forgives. 

We each react differently to stress, to trials, to blessings, to joy, to sunrises, to thunderstorms, and one necessary way of progressing is to identify where we can improve.

Please don't go out and make a list for yourself {or anyone else} this begins to feel hopeless. I know from experience. Just prayerfully consider one area, like I've done in this post, and ask God for help in making it a strength. Read this scripture and even glory in your areas of weakness to truly let Christ show His miracles through you.

Agency

So, I have been thinking a lot about agency. It is probably one of my favorite topics, and yet it is still one I struggle to understand. Almost everything has changed in my life in the space of one month, and it is all out of my control at this point. And for a control freak like me, it has been really hard.

However, I know someone who loves us enough to let us truly make our own choices. He loves us enough to allow for His perfect plan of happiness to continue unaltered by our choices, because without our choice we could never end up as He is.

Some recent choices have truly hurt me in ways up until about a month ago I could not imagine. I naturally have a {useless} plan to make everything work the way I want it to. There’s an old Hebrew saying, that ‘if you ever want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans’. Well, I did and I don’t think He laughed, but He showed me quite clearly that He has very different plans, even different than what I had previously asked and felt about.

We must be strong. We must not fear. We must allow people to make their own choices, even when it hurts. We must let people not give us the job we feel we deserve, we must let people be inconsiderate of our feelings, we must let people choose for themselves. It hurts. It does not make sense. The hurt will cease, {though, unless things go according to my plans, I can’t see how J } and one day, it will make sense.

Trust that it will work out. Trust in Him, even when everyone around you lets you down, hurts you in ways you cannot imagine. I am still quite young and inexperienced, so I know there is a lot more physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual hurt that I truly cannot plan for {which scares me} but I also know that I am loved. I am not forgotten.

You are loved, and you are not forgotten. Do not lose faith in His timing, even if His will or others’ agency makes no sense to you. Keep the faith and Keep Moving Forward.