Copyright

Dear Friends,

I've gone through my blog and taken down all the pictures I don't have the licenses for. Hooray, copyright law!

I've been put in charge of reading up and understanding copyright law at work, it's been... fun (ok, it wasn't too bad, actually). I've learned a lot, it makes a lot more sense, and so I decided to be obedient. I've found places where I can use images for free, which I'll be using in the future. I didn't feel like going through all my posts to find new pictures... sorry. So, be happy with me universe, and copyright crawlers and everybody else, just let me be.

Sincerely,
Cristina

Christmas Bells are Ringing

I've been living at my parents', trying to sort out a messy apartment situation, and have been loving the refuge I have found here. I am still paying for my old place, and my car/gas bill has gone significantly up, and life gets overwhelming at times.

I was sitting in church today, when I realized I was starting to have a panic moment again - life, the future, how literally stuck I am, and it hit me: I don't have panic moments all the time because I've learned to ignore it and focus on other things - because I can find hope in His promises. The problems haven't gone away, but, I've found the support I need to think about other, better things. So, I realized this, but once I start freaking out, I kinda want to finish... so, I thought about that, and then decided that it would be ok if kept ignoring it, so I went back to focusing on the wonderful lesson we were given about the Savior and how we can make sure He is in our daily lives.

I'm coming up/past my year mark, I can't really remember, ironically. I haven't become a sensation: I am no where near famous, which isn't the point. I have come so much closer to knowing my Savior, all year long, and from some feedback I've gotten, I've helped some dear friends find it too.

With the New Year right around the corner, I want to keep coming closer to Christ. I want to know Him, to trust Him completely, to ignore all the endless possibilities for sadness and misery and remember that He has promised me peace and eternal joy, and He is there to help me get there - today and everyday.

I am right where I need to be. I don't know how everything is going to sort out, but I am at peace. I just pray that I get to enjoy it for a little bit before my bubble bursts again with a new storm of troubles. I'm just learning how to deal with the ones I've got (so yes, queue the next wave...), and it is through relying on my family, by finding deliberate ways to keep getting better, praying a little more sincerely, serving with more of my heart, trusting and remembering a little more each day, that I will remember Him a little more often.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

It's the End of the World

Is it the end of the world as we know it?

I remember hearing about December 21st, 2012 and the end of the world when I was little. What if it really happens? Would I be ready? Would I have lived my life in a way that, looking back, I would be happy, knowing I lived my best?

If you knew you only had a couple days left, what would you do, say, change, work towards, etc.? Would you forgive more easily or go to the grave holding a grudge? I know this is a little cliche of a post, but, I still think it's important to remember - even the cliche things.

Efficiency

This year, 2012, I have become more aware of who I am - what I like, dislike, want, need, get angry over, where I want to go in life. One thing that became clearer, is my {almost} obsession about being efficient, not wasting time nor energy to get the 'task' done.

Out of Control

One of my illusions in life is that I have control over what happens to me, though it is mostly an unconscious decision. And, I don't think I'm alone in this belief. It's one of the ways I can operate, how I can make sense of things and be at peace. So, when things begin to feel out of control, I stress out. Borderline crazy? Probably.

Analysis Paralysis

I once had the very strong impression, while sitting in one of my college classes, that one day I would think myself out of a testimony.

Personal Inventory

"Don't give up what matters most, for what you want in the moment."

Priorities matter, and they are often forgotten in the haze of 'real life.' For instance, I want to stay physically in shape, but I struggle with the idea of actually doing something about it, and often would rather watch TV or take a nap.

Hot or Cold

Side note: It's been almost a year since I've had this blog, which is pretty epic. I've had a few emails sitting in my inbox marked as "unread" so they sit at the top. They are all blog topic suggestions of things that I would someday like to write about. They're going on 2 months now... Life gets crazy sometimes - especially this time of year.

To Laugh

"Laughter is the best medicine. So goes the adage. Yet we forget to unwind and laugh with carefree abandon. How many times in a day do you laugh? Do you spread laughter? Let's resolve to laugh away our worries and embrace happiness. Here are some inspiring laugh quotes. Laugh, and let laugh." - Simran Khurana

Fads and Classics

Today I was thinking a lot about the trends of the world, and then I naturally thought about wanting more than just to follow the fads. And, then I naturally started thinking about more than just clothes and the newest technology.

How?

"Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God." (Helaman 3: 35)

Broken then Healed

Have you ever felt so broken, so hurt, so alone, that you somehow convince yourself that the Almighty God cannot heal you, that you are unlovable, that you hurt others so much that you don't deserve to be forgiven because nothing can fix it, or anything like it?

Hold Onto Hope

Life is hard - obviously. Nothing new there.

But if we can remember that it is ok that it is hard, and that it is temporary, we can have hope.

Remember to have hope.

There are so many different challenges, so perfectly fitted to us, that, if chosen deliberately, will shape us for heaven because we chose to remember Christ.

Life is hard - and it can be made harder when we struggle to take the pain away, to deny it, to fight against it because we believe we alone must fix it.

So, remember to have faith, hope, and charity, and somehow, even though life is still hard, it is ok. We survive and we learn a lot. And remember, looking back, it will all be worth it. So - even though it may not make sense right now, it will one day.




My posts may not be teaching you anything new, but hopefully they help you remember what you already know and help you along your way.

Dear God, Sincerely Thy Daughter

Dear God,

I have been having a hard time lately, like a lot of Thy children. It seems that at one point or another, all of Thy children face extremely hard challenges. Life is confusing, understanding Thy promises and what "soon" means is confusing at times, and finding strength and letting it be ok to be confusing, hard, to let it hurt, to not know how to solve, or know that it is impossible for us, Thy children, to solve - at least on our own - is so hard.

I don't know how to let it go sometimes. I don't know how to believe that it will happen as Thou hast said it would, especially when all I feel that Thou has said is that it would happen. Somehow, I do believe it, even though I don't know how.

And that, is probably the hardest part.

If I didn't believe it was from Thee, then I could set about finding other answers. As it is, I am left with just the promise that it will happen. Somehow, my trial, my pain, my impossible struggle, will end. And, I know it is through the Atonement of Thy Only Begotten Son, even Jesus Christ, that it is possible.

Sometimes, I just hurt anyway. Sometimes, I just am anxious and can't remember how to let go. Some days are better than others, and I really am at peace. And then one little voice that I heed, one little doubt comes in, and it seems my faith falls away. Will Thou help me? It never seems to completely fall away, and I do always remember Thee in these moments, but sometimes it is just so hard.

As I write this, I actually am at peace. I am trying to write down what I remember feeling just a little while ago, because, I feel this way and feel that I am not alone in feeling this way. And, now I just ask that Thou help me to remember quickly, to trust in Thee more, to see Thy hand, and to enjoy the journey where I am at. I remember the last time I was down, and Thou promised to me so perfectly and so purely that my fears melted away and I felt Thy love.

Will Thou help me hold on to that feeling, and to remember it, to heed it when the winds swirl, and I am lost in the rhetoric of sin and fear?

I love Thee very much, and know that we are all trying so hard to improve, to become better, to be more like Thee, and this is my renewed prayer unto Thee.

Sincerely,
Thy Daughter


Some of my readers may wonder why I post this, or worry more about me than I intend based on the descriptions of pain. Pain is real, and I feel it at times, but this post is an attempt to show how I remember to trust my Father. Pain is real, but so is healing, and I have found it. It isn't a gloss over, it isn't a 'band-aid' it is real, and it is wonderful. It is easy to let that be distorted when pain is felt, and pain won't just go away because you tell it to. But, you can still let it go, you can still start to trust, and with time and faith, I know healing will come.

Here it is: Agency Revisited

I have a couple ideas I’ve thrown around since I said I’d be writing this blog, since the topic of agency is dear to my heart. Most of which, I am not going to be addressing in this post. These other ideas revolve around the idea that agency is vital. And, I would love to do a series one day on this – i.e., how humility is vital for complete agency, how faith and not knowing is so important to our mortal experience and how agency is intertwined, and so on.

So, what do I want to say about agency? Mostly that choices matter. That agency matters. I got my degree in Psychology, and have heard arguments for and against it all four years. See, in science, agency doesn’t fit, so researchers often conclude that agency is an illusion we live by to give some kind of purpose to life, but that it is impossible for us to really change, it is impossible for us to really choose for ourselves. They can't prove agency is real, so it must not be. Personally, I agree—With the idea that we can’t prove agency empirically.

I also don’t think we need to. Agency is still real and anyone who says otherwise still acts as if they have agency anyway. I’ve known professors who believe we have agency on Sunday, but in their research and classrooms, proclaim that it is a myth. And, it’s just sad to me.

I want people to know that agency is one of the most beautiful and vital gifts from God that we have. Without it, there really isn’t a purpose to life. It’s not just something we pretend to have so we feel better. AND even if it was, I would still live the same way.

We do have agency, so I won’t dwell on that. I’ve written about agency a few times on this blog, and don’t know what more to say except that we must choose deliberately. If we aren’t choosing, who is? If you say you don’t have agency, who is accountable for your choices, good or bad? Well, certainly not you. If you couldn’t choose otherwise, then all your bad decisions and consequences aren’t your fault but neither are your successes and your growth.

Agency is often described as the ability to choose otherwise. And we do all the time. When a driver cuts us off, we have many choices: keep driving, keep driving and become angry the rest of the day, follow the person to where they are going and yell at them, turn around and go home, or stop in the middle of the road and demand justice. Obviously, we have more choices than that. But, what I am trying to get at is that we must determine where we are going. Choose to follow God a little more consciously today. Choose to cast anything holding you in a world of sin away. Yes, it may be in your nature now to get offended easily, but it doesn’t have to stay in your nature. Rise above it with help from our Eternal Savior and His Atonement for us.

I often leave connecting ideas out when I try to be brief, but I have a testimony that agency is real. It is from God, and we are expected to choose deliberately.

FMFA

In the past I may have mentioned some training we get at work. Two weeks ago, I received a lesson which I will hopefully not forget. It was on memory. :)


Since I heard it, I have remembered and utilized the lessons, and have found deeper meanings and also an easier time remembering things.

It is this: Fact, Meaning, Feeling, Action.

First, you find the facts, but they alone will not be memorable. You must decide/uncover their meanings, then, when chosen, can illicit feelings. Once acted upon, even in small ways, we can remember it.

The other day, I was reading a passage in the scriptures. I have long since taken to writing about what I've read in the hopes of paying better attention. On this day, I still struggled: I had read this story many times and  just didn't care.

It was then that I realized I needed to take a step back, find a meaning, feeling, and action that I could take about this chapter. I looked at the facts of the story. They alone didn't mean much to me that day. But, I found something that did, and I felt good about it. I couldn't act too much, but I wrote it down.

I've heard several leaders talk about the importance of taking action and/or writing inspiration down. I have a testimony that when this pattern is followed, we can remember what is important and we can learn even more.

If you are struggling with feelings of apathy towards something you know you should care about, try this. Look at the facts again, and ask for help finding a meaning and more feelings, more desire, and then do something about it. Watch miracles happen, remember what is important, and go forward.

Baby Steps, Bob

As any runner will tell you, starting is always the hardest. Or, at least, that's what all my running friends have told me.  I'm not a runner, so I can't tell you for sure. But, I think I agree with Doctor Leo Marvin, Bob, and my running friends, that you have to just start. I find the Baby-Steps method to be one worth trying. 

Be Ok

My life goes in phases. I'm again finding it so important to remember that everything will be ok, and when I do that, I am able to let go of the stress and enjoy life again. I'm not exactly sure where the phrase "ok" comes from as I've heard a couple different ideas, but I like it. It's short and easy for me to remember. This has been on my mind lately and I wanted to share some thoughts.

Famous and Influential

The story of how one girl's dreams were dashed:

The Reality of the Rock

"And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth is mighty winds, yea his shafts in the whirlwinds, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build, they cannot fall."

Worth and Purpose: You Deserve Someone Better?

“You deserve someone better”

I recently learned about a girl who ended a relationship with a boy because she felt she wasn’t worthy of his love, and feels that he deserves someone better. I don’t know the girl, her story, or any other real details, but my imagination, and the Spirit, filled the gaps, and I need to write this post for her and girls like her.

The Balance of Rebellion

Sometimes, rebellion is necessary. It is not my intention to say that one should blindly follow leaders or that rebellion is inherently evil. But let me be clear: The idea of rebellion is not new to the world today. All through the ages, people have been rebelling and people will continue to rebel, and think that they are the only ones rebelling.Often, generations are marked by what they rebel against. As I sit and think about this, I see it everywhere. It scares me to see how prevalent it is in our literature, media, and natural tendencies, prompting us to devalue the 'traditions of our fathers' and that the truths we've been taught aren't good enough for us.

Agency Promise

I keep talking, or at least thinking, about how much I want to write a post on Agency.

I have lofty aspirations for this post, and with that comes a lot of intimidation. Adding to that intimidation, I have read so many good arguments, for and against agency, in my psychology and philosophy courses, that I don't know quite where to start. One day, I want to write one, a great piece, too. I would want it to be content that people want to pass around because they can feel the truth of it, both in their hearts, and in their minds. I want myself and others to love and remember this topic, for I have glimpsed its value. Try as I might though, I forget about and devalue it all too often.

And as I'm reading about it, I am finding is that agency doesn’t want to be entirely pinned down, no matter who is writing about it. There are just so many facets and so much depth; it is like describing, love, the ocean, the taste of salt, humor, or what it means to be human

So, I want you to know that I have started one. What's more: I want it to be short. That's probably the hardest part as I'm rather wordy. So this teaser serves as more of an accountability check for me.I will have posted my promised take on agency by the night of October 31, 2012, assuming all goes according to my plan.

In the meantime, if you want, I would love to hear your perspective on agency, either in the comments or any other way you can get a hold of me. I don't promise to use them, but I do promise to consider them and try to fit them in, but like I said, I am trying to be brief.

It's a Miracle!

There are 4 miracles swirling around my mind today that I want to write about. I just got back from institute and as such I have a lot on my mind. First, though not one of my four miracles, is that I remembered and applied how I learn. That is by writing and taking notes. The past few weeks I’ve gone to institute but neglected to take notes, and as such, I neglected to gain my usual amount of spiritual strength. Today was different, and this blog post is a result.

Shut-down Touch-down

On Saturday, my body decided it had had enough, and shut down.

Your Way

So, lately I've been focusing on a few things. Since my 'liberation' from school last December, I've had a lot more free time, but not a lot of funds to do anything drastic :)

One thing that I've been thinking about is trying to eat healthier. As I've been thinking a lot, I've realized some things are just not going to happen. I had to figure out what I was willing to change and what my goals were.

This is not going to happen. But: I recently ate a little squash and didn't die, that's progress right?

I've found it incredibly hard to cook for just myself. I'm have a hard time when it's just for me, to put in basically any effort. A full year ago I was in a dinner group. We had dinner together about 4-5 times a week. The rest of the days we were to fend for ourselves. Since there were so many of us, we only had to cook once every 3 weeks. It was fabulous. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy cooking, but I loved not needing to most of the time. It meant that I got a real meal most days, it meant I was social and had friends, I was saving money, and these meals were not only delicious but fairly healthy.

Now I am living on my own in a faraway land (...10 minutes from where I used to live, and I have two roommates, so neither is true...). I've discovered - and remembered - some things: I don't really like the smell of kimchi (one of my roommates is Korean), but I do enjoy cleaning, making my apartment a home, hanging out with friends {old and new}, love reading, my job is pretty great, and that I want to - and can in my own way - make a noticeable difference for good. Sometimes I feel a little lost/weak in the new chapter, especially when some key pieces don't quite make sense right now. Yet, I know in whom I trust, and I can see His hand shaping my life, now and eternally. I gotta say, He is doing a fabulous job, my life is so blessed and I am so loved. Yes, I have a lot to look forward to, and a great foundation of opportunities to work with and learn from.

My friend in my new ward was talking about how he hates writing in a journal, but recognizes the value. Where journal writing is his goal, he can set up ways to get there, he just needs to find a way that works for him. I had one friend mention how she struggled with daily scripture reading until she found a way that worked for her, audio playback on her iPhone.

In life, we are faced with these types of challenges all the time. We don't want to deviate from the truth, and yet we're not perfect yet and it can be very destructive to expect that (though we should not plan to fail). For me, I know I could buy healthy food and really hope that I'd eat it. I know I won't though. Or, at least it would go bad before I could convince myself to eat it. Instead, I surfed health food blogs and what not, and looked for things I was already doing. Then, I looked for little ways to make it healthier, and feel enabled to make and keep making small changes. One day, I won't just be cooking for myself. And, I will have found a sustainable way to keep doing what is right.

There are ways we can improve, and it doesn't have to be major changes, just small ones day by day. My goal in life is, as many readers know, is to keep moving forward every day. I figure, if life is a marathon, and I can only manage to get an inch per day, at least I am making progress. Now, life and progress is measured on many different planes, so it can be hard to know what to work on. Often it feels like spinning plates.

Find a way to continuously improve, that works for you. Find your way. I'll give you a hint: prayer and scripture study, and talking with good people, will really help.

Dear Future Husband

Dear Future Husband,

My friend writes these on her blog, and it looked like fun, but she's marrying hers in a couple days, so it's a little different for us. Some days are hard, others, like today, have left me thinking about you (not in a sad/helpless sort, but wondering what you're doing, what challenges you're facing, etc.).

I want to share that when I struggle, I do my best to turn to God as quickly as possible and have taken the commandment to pray always as literally as I can remember.

He is our Father in Heaven and He loves us so much that He has prepared a way for us to share eternity together. He has provided a way for me to find strength until we find each other, and even after. Because, Future Husband, I know you're great, but there are some hurts that even you cannot take away just by being your awesome self, and hurts for you that I cannot take away or lessen. We need to have this relationship with Him first and foremost, so that we can truly be strong, equal partners in our eternal life together.

I'm not sure how long it will be till we find our way to each other, but I trust in His timing, and will keep listening and following where He leads. Even on the very hard days, I feel Him close by, guiding me onward and upward. I imagine that you are working to be the best you can be, and that's what makes you so great. Somehow it will all work out, even when it doesn't seem possible. I've heard that God loves showing us that with Him, all things are possible to him/her that believes in Him. You know this, of course. I just need to remind me of that too.

We have a lot to learn, you and I, and we won't learn it all before we find each other {thank goodness, that would be a long wait...}. We will live, learn, and share in this grand adventure of life. There will be crazy times that we cannot comprehend right now, the pain will be seemingly impossible to bear. But! We'll have each other, and most of all, we'll have God, the very Eternal Father, helping us all along the way.

So, I will wait in the sense that I haven't forgotten you, but go on, in the sense that I will keep doing all I can to draw nearer to God and living life as He would have me do.

Love always,
C.

Deliberate

I grew up dancing, others grew up playing sports, writing, or just in general learning in their context. The next question I will ask rhetorically is rather simple and obvious, yet I ask it anyway. Does excellence come easily? Naturally, my dancing ability required no extra work :) . And it that's true, all the professional sports players would never need to practice a day in their lives. And being a genius is just genetic.

I don't mean to lessen the reality of talent or intelligence. Practice makes permanent, that's for sure. However, there are countless examples of people who found what they were good at and perfected it. It was because they found a way to consciously and continually improve. It starts with being deliberate, with paying attention.

I have two basic styles for writing on this blog. The first is basically a brain dump, or rush write. You can tell when I write this way, my thoughts don't always connect because I'm mainly just trying to get all my ideas down on 'paper.'

The second type is the kind where I have thought about the topic enough to plan what I'm going to say and how I'm going to say it. I usually start with a rough outline, or at least a list of points I want to make, and I rewrite my ideas until I am satisfied with how they come across. Sometimes after I post one, I will go back days later and continue rewriting it. Others, like this post start with a brain dump and then hopefully work their way into a decent post.

Naturally, all my posts could use a great deal more editing. My point is that things of quality take work and diligent efforts to plan, execute, analyze, and revise.

Another example: My job, in part, is "sales support." I'm somewhere between a baby-sitter and a manager. Lately, I've been working with our sales guy and trying to help him be more deliberate in his efforts. Not sales-y, or "pitchy," but helping him be sincere and competent. At work, we have the opportunity to learn and use a great continuous training system.

However, our coaches only come once a week. Then we have the tendency to forget, and so remarkably, we haven't really improved. Is it the system's fault? No. Are we working at the right things? I'd say we're at least half-way there, we just need to align our priorities again. Because of this, we are just at a temporary impasse until we allow and work towards change. Imagine, in the "continuous improvement" cycle - planning, doing, reviewing, adjusting - that over time, the graph moves upward, in little steps. This is, in my mind, how we can achieve the best 'results' as we learn and grow.

As we go throughout life, let us remember that conscious, deliberate actions, can help us improve. When we focus on building up the small and simple things, and remembering our goals, we can really excel.

You’re not a hamster! Guest Post #3

If you’re a hamster, your day, every day, is something like:

• Wake up
• Feel hungry, search for food, eat…
• Feel thirsty, search for something to drink, drink…
•  All else taken care of, Find the wheel, get in and run… and run…
• Uh oh, it’s that time! Relieve yourself…
• Repeat previous steps over and over until you fall asleep.

And of course, you repeat this each day. A really wild day might find you changing the order; Woohoo!?

Now hamsters are perpetual loner’s and don’t do much with others; we’re different and interact with others all the time. There’s a little known addition to the “law of conservation of energy”** that states it doesn’t apply to hamster wheels. People don’t understand this, and ask many questions about it, but if you watch the hamster as he moves along (or she, it applies to female hamsters too!), the hamster and wheel just slow down. 

Most people reading this are fairly certain they’re not a hamster (and those who aren’t better solve those problems first). But with most people, when they wake up their steps are really different:

1.       If hungry, search for food, eat…

2.       If thirsty, search for something to drink, drink…

3.       Find some clean clothes to wear, hopefully they match… wear them.

4.       All else taken care of, Go to work, or school… (some really wild people are doing both!?)

5.       Relieve yourself as needed, where appropriate….

6.       Repeating previous steps until you fall asleep.

And repeat these steps each day; obviously that clothing step is huge! If you ask several people what they’ve been doing lately, you’re going to run into: “Same thing, different day…”; those people might as well be hamsters!  What you need to realize is it’s those differences that really matter. Every function you do, even good or great things can be ‘hamster-wheeled’ (yes, I’m using it as a verb now! You’ll have to get out of your hamster-wheel to see if it’s in the dictionary?) Look at concepts like prayer, or telling someone you love, ‘you love them’; Hamster-wheeling them (saying/doing the exact same thing, the same way over and over reduces their effect). At some point, the process will not feel like it has the same value it once did. Picture an employee walking in each day telling their boss: “This is the best job I’ve ever had!” (at first, the boss smiles and likes hearing it – but after it’s been Hamster-wheeled… the boss will try to avoid talking to this employee)

I know there are some determined hamsters out there that are going to point at the great things they achieve by establishing a good habit, and repeating it until it’s ingrained in their daily routine. I’m not arguing against that (adding new processes/functions is not hamster-ish) and we have to get off ‘our wheel’ to start those habits. But if we don’t review them, and ‘shake it up’ a bit… the monotony will slow down our wheel. Special events, vacations or even changing up the order of what you do each day, will be beneficial.

Just remember… you’re not a hamster!  Get off that wheel!


Written by Todd, what do you guys think? Are we hamsters, dancers, or human?

Spiritual Janitors - Guest Post

It's All About the Maintenance

I've been thinking a lot about maintenance of late.  One of my children has decided to major in facilities
management, which I took to mean that his aspiration in life is to be a janitor.  I was a little disappointed in his decision.  But maybe--just maybe--I was wrong.

One of the reasons I may be wrong about the whole janitor thing occurred recently.  I was privileged to attend a week of teacher training at a local, private school that happens to be LDS-based.  One of the speakers was the head of the school's facilities management and securities.  As I listened, I was impressed by this well-spoken, intelligent man and his capability and caring.  Not only did he not fit my own person judgment of a "janitor," he was truly magnifying his job.  In addition to making sure the building is beautiful and well cared for, he has been preparing the school for a natural disaster, possible intruders, and other possible emergencies.  I haven't ever thought of a janitor as being concerned about the future.  It was inspiring because he was doing his job not only for the income for his family but also to provide a clean, beautiful place in which children can learn more about the world and its Creator.

This talk and the others that I heard during the week helped me to see that how I live the gospel has, in many ways, been childish.  Just like a well cared for building, my testimony is always going to need repairs and updates.  I have lived the last 25 years maintaining my seminary testimony, when in reality, I really ought to update it to a more current, adult version.  Once I wrote down a testimony from a brand new (adult) member of the Church, and then compared it a year later with her more developed testimony.  In many ways, I found I was jealous because her testimony was different--deeper--than mine, but I couldn't figure out why.  I now know it was because she had not only maintained her beginning testimony, but she had immersed herself in the gospel and quickly updated it.

For example, I have always had a fairly decent, albeit superficial understanding of faith in my life.  But instead of simply learning about faith so I can give a Relief Society lesson on it, I need to steer my life by faith.  I also need to really focus not only on saying my prayers, but listening to the answers and then acting upon the thoughts I later have.  Over time, I can learn the difference between revelation and my own wishful thinking based on the consequences--which requires me to pay attention not only to the problems at hand but also to think and study what has happened to me before.

Now that I know that my spiritual maintenance is more than ready for an update, how will I go about it?  I'm going to participate in the goal of my stake president, which is to read the entire Book of Mormon between September 1 and December 31.  I will recognize the blessings my family has received because we've consistently paid our tithing, even though it's been really, really tight.  I can see (because I'm finally looking) the hand of God throughout not only my own personal history but the history of our world.  And so I must admit:  I'm excited to embark on a spiritual quest to become a better person.  I'll even be proud to call my son a janitor.

This post was written by the wonderful Cathy. I have known her for quite some time now... and have to say, she's pretty great. Her kids are pretty awesome too.

помню, Vergessen ,记住爱, Ingat, Tandaan, Remember

I'll shortly be posting another guest post, but wanted to share a quick thought that I had.

I like to look at the stats for this blog, even though I don't actively market it more than just putting it on my Facebook page. And over time, I've noticed a steady stream from around the world, most notably Russia. Unfortunately, I don't know any Russian to formally greet these viewers, but it is intriguing to me that something I say here can reach across the world.

So, if I could tell the world to remember one thing, it would be to remember to love and follow God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. That's a very brief summation, and one would need to explain what that sentence means, but another time.Google translate is pretty good, so I hear... So, I want to use it, to translate my message into more languages. Please forgive me for grammar and incorrect usage as I have no way to know if it's right (and if you're reading this in another language, I think Blogger uses Google Translate, so it would be consistently wrong anyway).

помню, чтобы любить и следовать за Богом Отцом и Его Сыном Иисусом Христом.
Vergessen nicht Sie lieben und Gott den Vater und seinen Sohn, Jesus Christus.
记住爱，并按照上帝的父亲和他的儿子，耶稣基督。
Ingat untuk mencintai dan mengikuti Tuhan Bapa dan Anak-Nya, Yesus Kristus.
Tandaan na ibigin at sundin ang Diyos ang Ama at Kanyang Anak, Jesu-Cristo.
N'oubliez pas d'aimer et de suivre Dieu le Père et son Fils, Jésus-Christ.
Pamatovat milovat a následovat Boha Otce a Jeho Syna, Ježíše Krista.
Lembre-se de amar e seguir a Deus, o Pai, e Seu Filho, Jesus Cristo
Recuerde a amar y seguir a Dios el Padre y Su Hijo, Jesucristo

זוכר לאהוב ופעל אלוהים אב ובנו, ישווע המשיח.

Please remember that. We can improve our relationship with Them and in order to find peace and happiness in this life, we must.

I just read that on the popular blogging platform, Word Press, alone there are over 500,000 new posts and 400,000 new comments each day. That's 20,833 posts each hour. I started feeling like my blog could never make much of a difference. Then I got to thinking about how important it is to lift where you stand, and what that means for me and my blog. I may not speak Russian, German, Chinese, Malay, or even Spanish. I don't have the most well thought out posts, the best arguments, or even original ideas.

Reach out how you can, turn to God and find a way to utilize your talents and the gifts He has blessed you with to help change the world in the way that only you can. Lift where you stand. It does make a difference

Happiness and a Fullness of Joy

Mini thought today:

There are different degrees, and indeed, different types of happiness. And somehow, it all makes sense to call them happiness.

Just remember that just because your wildest dreams aren't coming true yet, there are ways to still be happy now.

I know that's a common message. I just wanted you {and me}to remember that today. Look for the joy in the little things today and have faith that the big things: i.e., a stable and fantastic job, a happy family, a new house, a world-wide vacation, {The Hobbit and Les Mis coming to theaters...}, are still on their way.

So, remember to smile today, and remember that happiness is a choice, and you can have it... NOW.

First World Problems - Guest Post

Lately I've been listening a lot to the radio show The Nightside
Project. One of their regular features involves listeners texting in
their first world problems - stuff like "There isn't room in my garage
for both my boat and my RV", "I hate it when my monster truck gets a
spot of mud on it", "The remote control is sitting on top of the TV",
or "There was too much sauce on my hamburger and it spilled out onto
my shirt". The fun of First World Problems is that we realize that
these things we complain about are testaments in themselves about how
lucky we have it. Just the opportunity to suffer such annoyances is a
blessing.

Because we are aware that we're lucky to have the things and
opportunities we do, sometimes people end complaints about their
trials with something along the lines of, "I know I am so blessed and
there are so many people out there who have it much worse off then
me." Like because other people are suffering with things they haven't
experienced, their own sufferings are not worth mentioning. Other
times people from the outside compare two different people with a
similar trial, but one person seems to have it to a greater extent.

In the October 1980 General Conference, Boyd K. Packer said, "Some are
tested by poor health, some by a body that is deformed or homely.
Others are tested by handsome and healthy bodies; some by the passion
of youth; others by the erosions of old age. Some suffer
disappointment in marriage, family problems; others live in poverty
and obscurity. Some (perhaps this is the hardest test) find ease and
luxury. All are part of the test. And there is more equality in this
testing than sometimes we suspect."

And seriously? Even what seem like the simplest comparisons can get
pretty complicated. Just think of the smallest trial you can. Now
imagine that comes right after a month of one thing after another. Is
it easier to get through because you've grown through your other
experiences or is it the straw that breaks your camel's back? And
imagine two women with developmentally disabled children. Maybe one is
six months behind her peers in two areas and the other is two years
behind in a wide range of areas. But if the second woman has a strong
support system of friends and extended family and the first has
recently moved and her husband refuses to believe there is a problem,
who has it harder? And whose insurance provides better coverage for
therapists?

There is no point in comparing trials because, for one thing, we
can't. We don't know enough.We are all unique and even if we were
somehow to have the same exact trials, those trials would affect us
each differently. But we can be confident that Heavenly Father is
going to give us the trials we need to grow and he is going to make
available the help we need to get through them. And in the end, it
will all even out.

This post was written by the lovely Marissa, who I've known for a few years now and kindly consented to  be a guest blogger. Isn't she fabulous?

Moving and... Guest Posts Coming Soon!

So, I've been moving and transitioning to life
From this

 To... dun dun DUN:

Yes, this one was a little scary:

 But most importantly:

I always love a good sunset {I'm sure I'd love the sunrise too, but I seem to love sleep too much... haha}

In other news, start getting excited for some guest posts! I love other people's viewpoints and if you ever think of something and want to post it here, just let me know, and we can talk. :) I've got some great people on the line up, to add some great content to this blog. Hopefully you'll all love it and share it too!

War in Heaven, War on Earth: Politics

This idea is definitely limited, because there isn’t one side who is truly evil, and one who is truly good. So, keep that in mind with what I have to say.

War in Heaven:

No blood shed

About issues

Difficult to separate the truth from the lies

Some only seek power, others seek to lead us on a better way.

Some make the wrong seem right, by the power of words and selective truths.

Wars in the Book of Mormon:

Dissenters—those who had the truth and purposely left, do the most damage

Use flattering words to gain support

Distract us from what is important
Some make the wrong seem right, by the power of words and selective truths.

Alma 46:8-9 describes the power of one evil leader: he was incredibly persuasive; he made a lot of sense to a lot of people.

One righteous leader can shake the powers of hell, and it is this kind of leader that I strive to follow.

Political War:

Mosiah 29:26-27 Now it is not common that the voice of the people desireth anything contrary to that which is right; but it is common for the lesser part of the people to desire that which is not right; therefore this shall ye observe and make it your law—to do your business by the voice of the people.

And if the time comes that the voice of the people doth choose iniquity, then is the time that the judgments of God will come upon you; yea, then is the time he will visit you with great destruction even as he has hitherto visited this land.

We have the choice to choose a path that follows our God, or turns away from Him. I remembered so strongly today why I have the political opinions I do.

I have so much I want to say on this topic, there is a reason there is such a long list.

Neither major political party nor its members are close to perfect. However, one is much closer with my testimony. Let me bring it back to the War in Heaven. One side believed that there shouldn’t be any question about who gets back to God, everyone should. And they knew how it should be. God would force us back, either by taking away choice or by making our choices not matter. That is one of my favorite discussions, but I’ll save it for another time. It is so strikingly similar to some aspects of politics today. See, no one would say that some people aren’t deserving of God’s love, everyone should be saved, and we want to be with all our loved ones in Heaven, don’t we?

It does matter what we choose though, no one is disputing that. We were not put in equal places in life, given the exact same life course, and the exact same outcome. We each have an experience tailored to our situation, and no, life is not fair and we shouldn’t stop trying to help those we can. In the same way, we should all come back to Christ, but we should come back because that is the kind of person we’ve become, not just because that is the way God’s laws were set up, that everyone gets a free pass.

In today’s world, we are faced with the same underlying questions, shouldn’t we all be given an equal portion? Of course. Do we have a perfect system? No. Should we just have the government make our decisions for us because of their power? Some would say yes, I definitely say no. Why? Because it changes who we become. When we expect, depend, and are always given everything we need or want, our eternal natures are changed.

We are different for a reason. We need to do our best to help those around us, but the government, like God, should not force us to be saints, and it shouldn’t make our efforts worthless because the result of all our actions are the same. We need a better system, we need a righteous leader to help us get back.

Why do we say some children are spoiled? Is it possible for adults, even non-wealthy people, to be spoiled?

Yes.

How? I am spoiled when I just expect everything to be given to me, when I no longer have the internal motivation to help someone else, when I just do what I’m told and I no longer think for myself, when my opinion is lost, when who I am becomes just a cog in a machine.

Who are we becoming when we buy into these ideas? We are not becoming like our Savior.

What are we fighting for? We are not fighting life and mortal death battles here, but everyday battles of eternal significance for who we are becoming. Politics are a big part.

I will just end with this: Choose your vote wisely. Make your choices with care. These things have eternal significance. I know that we will either be led to Christ or away from Him as a country because of politics. Choose wisely, choose actively. Trust God, and remember, the war for our souls is still going, it didn’t end. I can make a difference, even if my candidate isn’t elected. Because of my choice, I am coming to know my God a little better, and see His perfect love for each of His children. And now, I am more motivated to find better solutions and elect better people to help even more of my brothers and sisters.

Carrying an Ego?

So, last week I went on a backpacking adventure. This afternoon, I went on a hike with my family. On this last hike, we talked about the backpacking trip. And, something came up that my mom said I needed to write down.

Before the trip even started, I knew I'd be one of the slow hikers. So, when we started hiking and I soon realized that, among other things I would need to adjust to, I would need to just let go of my ego - just for this trip - because it was going to be too much to carry.

After that, it was easier just to put one foot in front of the other, and have an enjoyable journey - even with all the bugs.

So, remember my friends, that sometimes we just need to stop carrying our ego around. It's by far one of the heaviest burdens we task ourselves with and one of the least important. Learn to let it go. It's ok to admit you're a slow hiker, that you made a mistake, that you're still learning, that another person has valid opinions even if they don't match yours. It's ok to smile along the way even if you're not quite perfect yet. You'll get there.

Princess

I recently have been thinking about princesses. Ever since I was young, I loved the story of Cinderella. Probably because I looked the most like her as a child. The common idea of our time is that princesses were weak girls that couldn't save themselves and had to wait for the men to save them.

This is ... fine I guess. It's just not the whole story and I think, like the book of Isaiah, we just lack a little context. I've had a lot of thoughts on this, I hope to get them across clearly and concisely.

There are 4 main ideas on which I can think of off the top of my head that I want to elaborate on, that will hopefully help us remember the worth of princesses (and of course princes/knights etc.) This post is not to glorify the evils that were also present in the time, but I just want to present something I feel is worth thinking about.

1. Etiquette
2. Jewels and fine clothing
3. Blood line
4. Embroidery

1. These skills were not necessarily taught to restrict women, to put others down, or to be negative. The idea behind teaching proper behavior was to help everyone feel comfortable, to be respectful. Obviously there's more I could say about this, but your attention is needed on my other ideas right now :)

2. Ok. First, I just want to say that these were used in an attempt to reflect the worth of the wearer. Naturally, things got out of hand because today we are still judging each other on our possessions, but people make sacrifices and try to give the best gifts to those they love. I am not suggesting anything more than that. Obviously, worldly wealth is something that is easily taken to extremes and is incredibly hard to balance. See Mark 10:25

3. Blood line is a little trickier for me to explain, but when it comes down to it, I think it would not be too much of a stretch to remember covenants are/were often passed down in families. The whole world is a family and we're working on getting it to everyone, but it starts in the family.

4. Embroidery was actually the first thing to come to mind when I was thinking of this post. See, we see skills like embroidery as useless. And to an extent, even in those times it was more frivolous than other endeavors. However, it was a skill valued because it made the house a home, or the stone walls a castle. Embroidery and other homemaking skills, where not vital to life in the middle ages, showed the value the 'princess' had on education, on bettering her mind and her talents.

These things get twisted over time, people easily loose sight of what's important, including you and me, princesses, noblemen, peasants, anarchists, etc. :)

Context matters, no time nor person is perfect. People should only be criticized or admired to a certain extent. I just want to remember that there were reasons princesses were valued. They came from good families, they treasured education and making a house a home, they made others feel comfortable, and they had great worth.

Before I end, I want to say something about the issue of "damsels in distress." Now, I don't always want to be in distress, but it sure is nice when I am in distress that there is some kind of solution, like a knight in shining armor, to help me. No, I can't say I want to be made to feel weak, powerless, or foolish. Yet there are legitimate situations where I need help.

Don't we all need saving sometimes? Yes, we do. Maybe after the knight saves the princess, he realizes that she in turn saves him every day by the person she has become, a princess, a daughter of the most High God. She has become someone who values family and teaches those around her, who looks out for the feelings of others, who edifies and comforts those in her life. Princess are still worth admiring. I think there is a bit of a "princess" or queen in every every woman, for we truly are Daughters of a Heavenly King, and our inherent character inspires us to act that way.

In every man then, it follows, that he is inherently a knight in shining armor, a prince, a king. We then see them working together, to rule over their 'kingdom' (or family), in righteousness, caring in their different roles for those they can help. We have different strengths, and they change with our contexts. Let's remember the meaning behind the things we can easily see.

What do you think? What did I miss? What did I confuse you on?

Backpacking Through Life

This blog is going to be a little 'stream of consciousness' but I wanted to write it before I forgot :)

I just got back from an incredible hike to Dunanda Falls in Yellowstone National Park. It's amazing. However, during said adventure, I was close to miserable. I am not entirely sure why, but my knees decided that they no longer wanted to cooperate. So, I limped along - trying my hardest to be a good sport and not slow the group down too much.

I learned a lot on this trip. I want to now share what I 'remembered' on the way back.

We were in the middle of no-where. I was in incredible pain. The path was long and though not hard in terms of hiking per se, being hurt, made it hard.

In life, we cannot go back. We can't just stop either. We can take other paths and get lost, temporarily or permanently (this may have happened trying to get to the bridge shown below). We must keep moving forward.

In this mortal life, we are metaphorically in the middle of our backpacking trek. We have found the beautiful land and learned a lot along the way. Now, we must keep going now that we are here, to reach the Heaven, one step - one choice - at a time.

We need to let go of the things holding us back, and when our packs get to heavy for our knees we can turn them over to our Savior who can help us carry on and finish the course. We'll make it one step at a time. Keep the faith and keep moving forward.

Pride and Humility

Today’s post is on the different faces of pride and how humility shapes us to allow God to mold us into who we truly can become.

I fully believe that one of life’s greatest recurring themes is the need to learn how to balance anything and everything, finding the truth in what we’ve been given to deal with.

So today, in my church meetings, we discussed having a broken heart and a contrite spirit, which basically means humility. With this, the discussion of pride came up. I wanted to give my take on what pride truly is.
There are different types of pride in the balance of life. It is not thinking that you are better than everyone. Pride is the sin of humanity, so it can’t be simply that. If I were to try to simplify it, I would say it is holding your opinion, whatever it is, above God’s truth.

In my head, I see pride on more of a spectrum with humility balanced in the center.

What then are on the sides? On one side, is the traditional view of pride—the narcissistic self-loving, or just in general a preoccupation with one’s greatness. However, as I am seeing more and more in our day, is the side that feels worthless that feels despair, self-loathing, perhaps.

Humility, as we know, is not just talking/thinking badly of yourself. Going back to my definition, it is accepting truth of who you are, recognizing God’s “opinion” (truth), and moving forward.

So, say you are greatly afflicted with pride, of thinking that you are not capable, that you are not strong enough, that you are not whatever, and you have the hope to change anyway. Please remember this verse: Isaiah 28:10 For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of letting the Lord shape us. It takes great humility to fully change and become as He would have us be. I want to develop this thought more, so please send in any comments or feedback, and know that this post is going to be continued as I think about it.

We want to be a perfect statue, detailed and strong, of eternal strength and character.

Yet: We may only be here:

Let the Lord shape you here a little, there a little, and day by day you will find that you’re becoming as He is.
Remember, the potential is already inside you—it just requires a Master’s hand and your agency (since we are not simply rocks…).

Trials may hurt—it is hard to have who you think you are (the marble slab), chipped away. But remember, you are in the best care, watched over, and molded into perfection, to become even as He is. It just takes a little humility, patience, and trust.

Guilt: Your Responses

I recently asked for your responses to make a post on guilt. You guys were amazing! Here’s what you said:

I'm personally trying to define guilt before separating it into two kinds. To me Guilt is a gap between where you're 'at' versus where you should be and want to be. You can only have this gap if you're aware of where you should be and could have been there and wanted to be.

I think a little guilt helps to hold society together, but I think your focus on guilt probably makes life more miserable.

Sorrow and guilt are not the same things.  We can and will and should feel sorrow for things, even after we've repented and moved on.  But we shouldn't feel guilt after we repent. Like Enos said, "my guilt was swept away"

Guilt from the Spirit makes you want to be better and motivates you to work on it. Guilt from the devil makes you want to give up because you are hopeless and worthless. The hard part is holding on to that motivating guilt and not letting it become “unbalanced” and ever so slightly switch into devilish guilt.

God-given guilt points us in the direction of repentance and improving our lives so that we can have a positive influence outside of ourselves. Satan-driven guilt is self-centered and usually destructive. It could all be summarized by the "fruit" of the guilt—does it lead to good, positive results or destructive feelings?

I think guilt is a terrible motivator. Guilt very rarely entices me to act, it actually tends to impede my ability to act--and that, for me, is the ultimate test of whether the guilt I'm feeling is Godly or not. If I can say, "I feel TERRIBLE about this, and I really feel that I need to do x y or z to make it better"--then it's Godly. On the other hand, if I am just feeling guilty, and guilty, and guilty, and I don't know what to do about it, and I can't think of anything I CAN do about it, and it's impeding my ability to serve, then I know it's time simply to let go.

Personally I don't refer to good motivation as guilt, but it can be the same feeling. As simple as this sounds, I've seen the largest part of guilt problems I've run into, due to the concept of 'possibility'. For example, a father continually telling his son to practice football eight hours a day so he can be in the NFL, every person cannot reach every possible target and if you demand so much without them choosing the goal themselves, it's likely to fail. However, if you're talking to a child four or five years old... let them dream and reach forward to see what they like and are good at.  Someone trying to 'guilt' you into something will be distracting you from those (or adding so much to do, that you fail at the others). Choose your goals, prioritize, and achieve. Then choose more, and repeat.

A speaker I really like said: "There is only one variable that separates the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging and the people [who feel a sense of debilitating shame]: they had the courage to be imperfect. They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others, because, as it turns out, we can't practice compassion with other people if we can't treat ourselves kindly. And the last was they had connection and --this was the hard part--as a result of authenticity, they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were."

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

Three things have worked for me when I am trying to let go of the negative. I find that shame likes to sneak its way in to every crack and crevice of my life, till I can't tell, exactly, WHAT it is that I'm even feeling guilty about. I'm never good enough, kind enough, doing enough. But I am learning to be kind to myself. Here are the three things:

- Learning to laugh at myself

-Waking up every morning and telling myself three things I like about myself

-Doing things I'm not good at. My current project is learning to ride the unicycle. I'm terrible at it. But it's fun.

When we repent, we are trying to change ourselves, and not change things that have already happened.  So if we get hung up on things that are in the past, that's bad.  For myself, I know I have to focus on doing what's right in each moment that I'm living in.  I've done enough things wrong that it would be easy to never forgive myself. Just do your best, don't worry about it.  We'll feel guilt and sorrow when we do wrong, but I don't think we should focus on the guilt, I think we should focus on doing our best, and if we do that the Lord will help us feel bad when we need to and the enemy won't have power over us. It is super important to have faith, hope, and charity, focused on Christ and His Atonement.  This knowledge works to become a force in us, a power and ability to overcome challenges. 

Guilt is a terrible, terrible motivator. It is a WONDERFUL -indicator- but a terrible motivator. What I mean by that--it's kind of like when you have a nauseous stomach. That lets you know that something is wrong. Guilt can be an indicator that you need to repent, or it might be an indicator that you need to start treating yourself differently. Which it is you'll have to diagnose yourself, but if you are feeling guilt it is DEFINITELY an indicator that something is wrong. But if you spend your life letting guilt (or avoiding guilt) be your MOTIVATOR you're going to be unhappy.

Life is about a process of change. Receiving the Holy Ghost also takes time and consistent effort, and with His help, we can let go of any guilt that is holding us back from progressing. We can become like God and we can find joy today.

Thanks for all your responses! I really enjoyed putting it together so I will be doing more posts like this in the future.

Explosions of Wisdom

I teach a ballroom class for some friends, it's very casual and fun, just for my peers. So, I was talking to some of them yesterday when I made a sarcastic comment about how I needed to go impart my "infinite wisdom" to some "students" or else I would explode with all the wisdom.

Like this, only not a "Time Lord" from Dr. Who with time energy flowing from my fingers, but pure wisdom in its place.

They mentioned how cool, though tragic, it would be, if I were to explode and then infinite wisdom would flow.

The thing is, we do have a source of infinite wisdom, of infinite love, and infinite power to help us overcome all things.

All we have to do is to ask for help and have the faith to move forward. We keep asking and adjusting and we keep moving forward. Things will always try and hold us back, but we can move forward through the Savior.

And if you're wondering, the guilt post is coming along, but I need more responses! :)

Guilty as Charged?

After my last post on lies, I got a lot of feedback/responses, I decided I wanted my blog to be more interactive.

For those of you who know me, you know I am often motivated by guilt. I know there are different types of guilt worth exploring, so what do you guys think about it?

Briefly, though there is more to come, the way I see it is that there are two basic types of guilt: Guilt brought on by the devil that you need to learn how to let go, and the guilt brought about by the Spirit guiding you to change, to remember, and to become better.

How do you know which is which? And how have you found the ability to let go of the negative and learn from the positive?

Please email me at my "professional" email:

and in the next couple of days, I'll combine your responses and my ideas, so we can all learn together.

Lies: A Reaction

I received this as a reply to my post, and felt it should be shared. It captures a lot of aspects that I was hoping to get to, but didn't in my last post. And, the added perspective of another person always adds value, depth, and meaning, so I wanted to share it here.


You said: "Lately I've been thinking a lot about why lying is a big deal. I know we talk about it a lot, but I haven't really thought about it that much until recently."

If you are lied to, and you know it... the pain and loss are focused on the destruction of trust, and the loss of connection with that person. Forgiving that person is really hard. For me, the first key in forgiving someone at all... is that I must want too (which is sometimes a difficult issue for me). I find that it is easier to start when on my knees, praying (it's just not possible to tell God it's too hard for you or you don't want to, when he's there, knowing your mistakes). However at some point you have to talk with the person or your attempt will only appease your pain a little. But one of the second or third keys I think about, when I feel someone has lied to me is grasping onto the idea that they didn't want to hurt me, or they wanted to impress me, they wanted to seem better than they are. I look at those and try to determine what their intent was, and try to determine what they were thinking. Then there's the idea that lying hurts the person doing it the most. But somewhere along the way is the concept of me labeling them a 'liar' and my mind doesn't let me apply that label as easily as my emotion.

So many times two or more people just don't see the same 'truth' when they stare at the same thing. I try to define 'lying' as deliberate miscommunication attempting for personal gain. If you haven't felt lied to, and later found out it was miscommunication... I'd be surprised. When you care about a person and feel betrayed or wronged the issue is often fueled by miscommunication and you want to lash out. I think the fear of being hurt makes people quickly grasp onto negative assumptions as kind of a self-preservation thing. If instead they tried to fix the problem, they'd both be better off. But back to the subject... Lying is worse, than miscommunication... and both seem to be promoted in the world we live in now.

The next couple of lines were a little confusing to me: hypocrisy and disappointment are very different concepts and not always connected to lying. You said:
"So, hypocrisy, the unintentional hurt, and disappointment from people not living up to the idea we have of them is hard to deal with. Yet, this is easier to forgive because "they didn't mean to."  and "Hypocrites usually don't mean to be hypocritical...."
Is the person that lied to you, telling you not to lie? The reason this is distinguishable from lying is that in this case telling you not to lie would be a good thing, or if they said lying is bad... that would be the truth.  To be a hypocrite, a person has to tell you 'doing X is bad!' (and then do it themselves); the concept of being disappointed, is quite different. There's also the concept of a person telling others to be good, and being human makes a mistake -- are they a hypocrite?
{note from Cristina: I'm actually impressed only one line was confusing. That section is not complete. I've been trying to cut down the length of my posts, and can't seem to find a good balance to explain everything - concisely}

I like your next line -- I wish I had the strength to follow it in some cases: "... we need to get to a point where we don't take offense; even if it is intentional."

And also the paragraph about God is really strong too. I've mentioned this to you before, but you don't, and can't always know the truth. Each person chooses what they perceive as right, often based on who they trust when they can't know the actual truth. Imagine the dilemma you'd have if two loved ones, both of whom you trust... tell you to vote for different people in one election and you haven't had time to find out for yourself. Do you pick one, and call the other one a liar? and never trust them again? (of course not) So what would make you do that?

Boy I latched onto the next line really fast :(
"Unfortunately, we live in a world where all people struggle, all people are going to disappoint us, try to cover up the hard truths with white lies, or are just scared of losing us, so they tell us what they think we want to hear, or what is easier for them to admit to. Come on, we've all been there."
There's a lot of pain in those words... and I don't like thinking of you in that much pain. And it's certainly worse when I make myself the culprit. {Another note: There isn't a set culprit, I tried to write it just from what I've noticed, and ya I used my life as a foundation, but I tried to put it in terms of truth, so everyone, please don't get all worried that I'm offended or hurt by you. If I was, you would know. I'm usually pretty vocal in that area...or at least very clear in my actions...}


"So, why is it so hard on the other side? " Because you care, or have cared... and attached part of who you are to this connection and it was ripped apart by the lie because you can't trust them like you want too.

And I'll end by saying if you want to fix a problem between you and this liar, hypocrite, villain you're going to need to tell them how you feel. They have to listen with all their heart and not retaliate, they must respond with honesty with the goal of fixing the rift between you, and you have to listen to them. It takes effort on both people's parts and it's hard because of the pain and lack of trust. If one of you chooses not to, no amount of effort on the other side will compensate.

Lies: Nothing but the Truth

Lately I've been thinking a lot about why lying is a big deal. I know we talk about it a lot, but I haven't really thought about it that much until recently.

This post will hopefully help us understand about lying, and find the compassion we need to forgive. We've all made mistakes and need to learn to let things go, but it takes a long time to get over the hurt. It also ties into hypocrisy, and intention. 

So, hypocrisy, the unintentional hurt, and disappointment from people not living up to the idea we have of them is hard to deal with. Yet, this is easier to forgive because "they didn't mean to." 

Hypocrites usually don't mean to be hypocritical. 

They've just justified their behavior to themselves, and don't feel like that label applies to them. 

What I'm trying to say, is that we need to get to a point where we don't take offense; even if it is intentional. Should it matter if it is a long series of intentional "offenses"? I submit that though it is much harder, it isn't something we should have to hold on to. Yes, this makes me a hypocrite because I've taken offense at someone when it was intentional, and of course when it was unintentional. I'm still a work in progress. It doesn't make the truth is any less true.

God doesn't lie. We are able to trust Him, something that is so vital to our progression, because we know He doesn't lie.Therefore, if I understand why lying is so awful and hurts so much, and change my perception and behavior, then I can be more like Him, I can be a better person, and I don't have to hurt those around me, and theoretically can forgive those who hurt me.

It's a tall order.

And I'm short {haha....but really}.We all fall short, when we're working alone.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where all people struggle, all people are going to disappoint us, try to cover up the hard truths with white lies, or are just scared of losing us, so they tell us what they think we want to hear, or what is easier for them to admit to. Come on, we've all been there.

So, why is it so hard on the other side? When you're the one that sees someone struggle, when you are the person your friend doesn't want to disappoint, is scared of losing, and can't admit their shortcomings to, it really hurts. Look - I have felt the hurt, and I don't have a perfect answer that allows you to heal yourself.

"You have your agency, and inspiration [or healing/progression] does not--perhaps cannot--flow unless you ask for it....No message in scripture is repeated more often than the invitation, even the command, to pray--to ask." President Boyd K. Packer

Lying hurts, it hurts those lied to and it hurts those who lie. Hypocrisy isn't going to go away over night but it is something we can work on, and we can learn to forgive even those closest to us, who we see repeatedly fall short. We can't do it alone. Yet, we can get through this challenge, like any other challenge set before us.

Trust and Progression

First, this is a detailed outline of talk that I gave today. It doesn't expound on everything, but it gives you a pretty good idea.

Main Point: Trusting in God even when others, and maybe even yourself, tell you otherwise… Having faith and trust in His promises to overcome fear and weakness that prevent progression	Scriptures: Proverbs 3:5-6 D&C 50:40-42 1 Cor. 10:13 Alma 5:33-38, 12:9-14, 32:21-42
-1 What does it mean to trust + why -2 How do we trust -3 Rationality -4 Others’ opinions	Examples and quotes, see below Testimony-

1 What does it mean to trust + why

Briefly, it is letting go of that fear, and it is so we can move forward, with faith that God is there, letting go of the need to know everything and just moving forward.

-2 How do we trust?

Elder Packer talks about how we need inspiration, and we are commanded to pray so that we are able to receive it.  It is a plea from our Father to help us get help.

President Eyring, Mountains to Climb: “Many of you are now passing through physical, mental, and emotional trials that could cause you to cry out as did one great and faithful servant of God I knew well. His nurse heard him exclaim from his bed of pain, ‘When I have tried all my life to be good, why has this happened to me?’”
“The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he? Therefore, hold on thy way….therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever.”

1 Cor. 10:13

"Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven. But for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come." -Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

"So work hard, and pray, but do not worry" Howard W. Hunter

"Peace in this life is based upon faith and testimony."
James E. Faust

"You have a heritage honor it. You posses a testimony share it. You will face temptations withstand it. You know the truth live it."
— Thomas S. Monson

“Sometimes we let our thoughts of tomorrow take up too much of today. Daydreaming of the past and longing for the future may provide comfort but will not take the place of living in the present. This is the day of our opportunity, and we must grasp it.” Thomas S. Monson
“In Search of Treasure,” Ensign, May 2003, 20.

-3 Rationality

Proverbs 3:5-6, Alma 32:21-42
This one can be hard. When you want something to be true so much, and you don’t have all the pieces in front of you, it is sometimes so incredibly hard to trust that He will give you the pieces at the right time. Keep going. Deal with what you can, put the pieces you have together.
Be curious, but doubt not! Always hold fast to faith and to the light you have already received. Because we see imperfectly in mortality, not everything is going to make sense right now. In fact, I should think that if everything did make sense to us, it would be evidence that it had all been made up by a mortal mind. President Uchtdorf
D&C 50:40-42

-4 Others’ opinions/perspectives

“Every man eventually is backed up to the wall of faith, and there he must make his stand. “And if they are not the words of Christ, judge ye,” said Nephi, “for Christ will show unto you, with power and great glory, that they are his words…” President Benson

It is very important that we not assume the perspective of mortality in making the decisions that bear on eternity! We need the perspectives of the gospel to make decisions in the context of eternity. We need to understand we cannot do the Lord's work in the world's way. –Maxwell “But from a small moment”

Having faith and trust in His promises to overcome fear and weakness that prevent progression

There have been times in my life, recently in fact, where I have felt backed up to that wall of faith. I have felt so alone and helpless, too weak to carry on by myself. Luckily, I am not alone. I was able to hold on to that desire to know my Savior better, to know that His promises are real, so in those dark times, I was able to cry to Him, and He heard and strengthened me, and helped me move forward, even though I still don't have all the answers to my questions, I can move forward in faith.


Testimony and Concluding Quotes

President Eyring, Mountains to Climb “It is never too late to strengthen the foundation of faith. There is always time. With faith in the Savior, you can repent and plead for forgiveness. There is someone you can forgive. There is someone you can thank. There is someone you can serve and lift. You can do it wherever you are and however alone and deserted you may feel.
“I cannot promise an end to your adversity in this life. I cannot assure you that your trials will seem to you to be only for a moment. One of the characteristics of trials in life is that they seem to make clocks slow down and then appear almost to stop.
“There are reasons for that. Knowing those reasons may not give much comfort, but it can give you a feeling of patience. Those reasons come from this one fact: in Their perfect love for you, Heavenly Father and the Savior want you fitted to be with Them to live in families forever. Only those washed perfectly clean through the Atonement of Jesus Christ can be there."

“Wherever you now find yourself on the road of discipleship, you are on the right road, the road toward eternal life. Together we can lift and strengthen one another in the great and important days ahead. Whatever the difficulties confronting us, the weaknesses confining us, or the impossibilities surrounding us, let us have faith in the Son of God, who declared, 'All things are possible to him that believeth.'"
—Elder Neil L. Andersen

Let me [remind] you [of]that we so blithely say in the Church that life is a school, a testing ground. It is true, even though it is trite. What we don't accept are the implications of that true teaching—at least as fully as we should. One of the implications is that the tests that we face are real. They are not going to be things we can do with one hand tied behind our backs. They are real enough that if we meet them we shall know that we have felt them, because we will feel them deeply and keenly and pervasively. –Maxwell “But from a small moment”

If God chooses to teach us the things we most need to learn because he loves us, and if he seeks to tame our souls and gentle us in the way we most need to be tamed and most need to be gentled, it follows that he will customize the challenges he gives us and individualize them so that we will be prepared for life in a better world by his refusal to take us out of this world, even though we are not of it. In the eternal ecology of things we must pray, therefore, not that things be taken from us, but that God's will be accomplished through us. What, therefore, may seem now to be mere unconnected pieces of tile will someday, when we look back, take form and pattern, and we will realize that God was making a mosaic. For there is in each of our lives this kind of divine design, this pattern, this purpose that is in the process of becoming, which is continually before the Lord but which for us, looking forward, is sometimes perplexing. –Maxwell “But from a small moment” –Maxwell “But from a small moment”

“Wherefore, ye may also have hope, and be partakers of the gift, if ye will but have faith.”

This topic was given to me that I may bear testimony before all that I know that He is faithful that promised help and happiness, and I know in whom I have trusted, even though the promises have not been fulfilled yet, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.